Finding What Was Lost
by twistories1980
Summary: Edward and Bella are going through a rough patch in their marriage. He is working long hours at the law firm and Bella doesn't trust his assistant. It only took one moment for everything to rip at the seems and fall apart, but are things as they appear? After a tragic accident how will both Bella and Edward find what was lost? Rated M for adult subject matter.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I'm back! I've been MIA for a while and I apologize. The last two years of my life have been hard. I am still having issues typing and trying not to be in pain (I was in a car accident and broke my arm which I didn't think was a big deal however the healing isn't going as I expected and I'm in pain all of the time. my hand and wrist swell if I use them too much. I have shooting pain up to my shoulders. It's unbearable sometimes. I've seen multiple doctors but everything is "normal." Here it is 2018 and the US is int he middle of a huge opioid epidemic and I have told each of the doctors I don't want medicine. They have all looked at me like I have seven heads. I'll take over the counter drugs to dull the pain but I want to know why I'm in pain. I don't want to mask it. I'm off my soap box now! Sorry for the rant!).

This is a re-write of a story I never finished. Don't know if I pulled it from this site or if I never published it. It was on what is now Stars Library but I will be removing it soon.

For those of you who were reading Changes in Life, I still want to edit and rewrite the story. I don't know when or if that will happen soon but it will at some point.

Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think.

Enjoy-

Lisa

* * *

Chapter One

* * *

 _"I Edward Anthony take you Isabella Marie to be my better half. To have and hold for the rest of our lives and beyond. You are my person Bells. You complete me and make me whole. You get me and understood me in ways no one else does. You always have, at least since we were children. I will never let you down and I promise to fall in love with you a little more each day while we navigate through life side by side. In sickness and in health and happiness and times that are trying, I take you to be my wife."_

"Bella! Where are my pants? The grey ones that I just had altered? Bells?" Edward shouted from across the hall. His voice jolted Bella. She had just woken up in the nursery from a feeding in the middle of the night. She gently placed Seth back into his crib and pats his back and watched him sleep for a second and then walked out of the room.

Bella walked over to Edward's closet and grabbed his pants from the rack. She walked them to her husband who was standing in the bathroom with a towel around his waist while he shaved. At one time she'd tear off the towel and make love to her husband. At that particular moment she was annoyed with him. "Are these the ones you were looking for? They were the first pair of pants hanging up. Did you even look?"

Edward put his razor down and grabbed the hanger from his wife. "I did look, I swear. I'm just running late. I told Jessica I'd pick her up in twenty-five minutes and I'm only half ready."

Looking at her husband confused, Bella turned to him as he got dressed. "Jessica? Why are you picking her up? She owns a car, right?" Jessica went to high school back in Forks with both Edward and Bella. It was well known to almost everyone in their small class that she had feelings for Edward. Years later she was hired at the law firm to be his assistant. Bella could swear that Jessica was still attracted to Edward. Edward thought Bella was ridiculous with her assumption. He didn't see what some thought was clearly in front of him.

"It's in the shop. She'll pick it up tonight," Edward replied.

"Well Seattle has a great Metro system. She could take that," Bella suggested as she leaned against the wall.

Rolling his eyes, Edward looked at his wife as he buttoned his shirt. "Don't do this Bella. I don't have time to go through this again. Your better than that. I must get going. She lives across the city. It's going to take me forever to pick her up."

Bella nodded as she played with the belt to her robe. She looked up at Edward. "I bought sea bass for dinner. I am going to make that chive butter you like and-"

Edward finished buttoning his shirt and grabbed his jacket from the chair in the bedroom. Bella followed him. "I more than likely won't be home tonight. That case is dragging on. I don't know if Marcus is going to suggest another witness. I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know what strategy he is using and this isn't my only case." Edward had been promoted at Cullen and Brandon Law. His Aunt Jane and Uncle Marcus had started the firm after they graduated from law school. After Edward graduated from law school he was hired at the firm as well as his cousin Alice, the daughter of Jane and Marcus. Cases had come and went and weren't too tiring. The case that Edward was now working on was trying and stressful. A twenty-two-year-old intern had been raped by her supervisor who was a state representative. The representative knew people and had connections of course which was one reason why the case was so difficult. Edward work very hard with his uncle on the case. Even Jane was popping in and out to give her feedback and insight.

"When do you think you'll be home? I can have a late dinner and wait for you to come home?" Bella offered even though she knew what his answer would be.

Putting his jacket on, Edward looked at his wife. "I'm not sure. Maybe 10? I'm hoping it's not too much later. I can't wait for this case to be over." He leaned down and kissed Bella. "I love you and I will see you later. Kiss Seth for me." He said as he left their room, ran down the stairs and outside to his car.

Just like that, Bella was left standing alone in her bedroom wondering if she had a reason to be worried about her marriage.

* * *

"No! You remember it wrong!" Bella laughed as she sat at lunch with Alice. Since she wasn't dealing with the caseload that her parents and Edward had she had free time to spend lunch with Bella.

Shaking her head Alice corrected her friend. "Oh I remember everything! That was the year we were in high school. Jasper was caught skipping class and tried to blame me which I of course had nothing to do with. He skipped school to spend the day with Charlotte. Everyone thought they were fooling around which would have been such a Jasper thing to do because he was a player."

"He was such a player! He was a man slut!" Bella laughed as she chuckled about her brother when they were younger. She loved her brother but the truth was in high school and part of college he liked to sleep around and fool around. Jasper enjoyed playing the playboy card however when push came to shove he was always there for Bella. He never let her down.

Alice nodded in agreement. Growing up she and Jasper never got along. They couldn't stand each other. Jasper was on the rebellious side while Alice was a stickler for the rules. As they grew up and went to different colleges, they grew apart. It was while they began to spend time together because of Bella and Edward's wedding they became friendly. Jasper had long changed his ways and Alice found him charming even though she would never admit it to anyone. They both lived in Seattle like Bella and Edward. They occasionally dated and spent a lot of time together. No one in either family new about their new-found friendship and for now they wanted to keep it that way. "He was such a jerk back then."

"I'll give you a player but not a jerk. He really cared about the people in his life," Bella corrected her as she placed her son in the carrier. He had just fallen asleep again.

As Alice sipped her drink she looked up at Bella. "That's enough visiting down memory lane for now. What's going on with you? Anything exciting?"

"Afraid not. I feel like I'm living the life of a single mother. Edward and I only see each other briefly in the morning before he leaves for work. Half of the time we end up arguing. I end up falling asleep on the couch but end up in our bed when I get up to feed Seth. I know he's working hard but Alice, I miss him," Bella explained.

Shaking her head, Alice began to speak. "It must be hard. This case has been a bitch. I'm relieved I'm not working on it. My parents are on the case nonstop as is Edward. We all do gather in the morning to talk about it from different angles. Every time they think they will go one-way, Representative Biers pulls punches with his fake witnesses and alibis. Both mom and dad have said they have never represented a case like this. Victoria is so fragile. I'm afraid what will happen if they lose the case."

"I feel sorry for her, but I'd like to have my husband back," Bella whined.

Reaching across the table, Alice squeezed Bella's hand. "Don't worry. It has to end sometime."

Bella nodded and then continued. "What's up with Jessica? Her car was in the shop?"

"So, she says. She always has these episodes and askes for Edward's help. He is annoyed, but you know him, he can't say no. It's like he likes helping the helpless you know meaning her. I don't even know why dad hired her. I told him not to. He insisted she had good references and we needed the help. She hasn't changed sine high school. She's the same," Alice told her friend.

"I don't like the sounds of that. I wish she would just go away," Bella said biting into her salad.

Alice smiled. "Are you jealous? Do you actually think my cousin would do something with that piece of trash? You are sadly mistaken my friend. He has his eyes set on only one woman and I'm looking across at her."

Taking a deep breath, Bella leaned back into the chair. "I know you are right, but she makes me so insecure. I hate this. I hate never seeing him. I hate that he just can't say no. I think Seth is starting to forget him."

"I promise when this is over I'll make my parents give him a bonus and make him take time off. Seth is only going to be little for so long," Alice observed.

"I know and that's what makes me sad. He is missing out on so much. I am being selfish because I want my husband? Am I too needy?" Bella questioned.

Alice shook her head. "No and he'll be home before you know it. Mark my words."

* * *

"When am I going to see my grandson? He must be huge by now! Is he walking yet?" Charlie Swan exaggerated to his daughter over the phone. He had been down to visit Bella's family in Seattle not too long ago, but he liked when she was home. He liked having a full house which was something he had been missing. Being empty nesters now, he and Sue missed their children in and out of the house.

Rolling her eyes, Bella answered her father as she rocked her baby. "Is this where Jasper gets being over dramatic from? From you?" She paused as both she and her father chuckled. "Maybe in a few weeks? Edward has been working on that really big case and I haven't seen him. We haven't spent any time together. I don't see him any more dad."

Charlie understood in a way how Bella felt. Although he wasn't a lawyer, he was the chief of police in the sleepy town of Forks where Bella and Edward grew up. The crime rate was extremely low however he used to work long shifts and too was away from his family. He didn't like it, but it was part of his job. He longed for a real nine to five job sometimes, especially when that meant he missed his children's school activities. He sighed and began to speak to his daughter. "Honey I know it's frustrating, but it'll get better. The case is more than half way over. Edward will be back in your hair in no time. Just be patient. He's doing the best he can."

"I know I just miss him. How did mom put up with you working so much? It has to get easier right?" She asked.

"It's just something you get used to," Charlie told her.

Bella sucked in a breath. "I guess but mom didn't have Jessica Stanley fawning over you like she fawns over Edward. I wish she would go away."

"Now who's being over dramatic?" Charlie asked as he pictured his daughter pouting. "Believe it or not your father was a stud back in the day and there may have been a woman or two who fawned over me."

"And this portion of the conversation is over," Bella said crinkling her nose. She didn't want to think of her father like that. "I will see you in a few weeks. I'll definitely have Seth with me. Edward is just another question."

"Hey, chin up buttercup. Everything will be fine. Have I ever lied to you before?" Charlie asked.

"As matter a fact you did." Bella replied.

Dumbfound, Charlie questioned is daughter. He prided himself on being honest. "When?"

"Well, there was Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny and-"

Laughing he interrupted his daughter. "Wise ass. I'll let you go now Bells. Give that baby a kiss for me and I love you."

"I love you too dad. Good night," she said as she hung up the phone.

She'd drive up to Forks in a few weeks. It wasn't the first time she had done so on her own, but she hated the drive. She was trying to think good thoughts. Maybe Edward would be with her then.

After bathing Seth and feeding him, Bella placed him in his bassinet in the living room. She was determined to stay awake and wait up for her husband. She laid on the couch and watched This Is Us from the previous night. Within ten minutes she was asleep.

* * *

The door opened just three minutes after midnight. Edward carried is jacket to the door and unlocked it. Once again Bella was fast asleep on the couch. Her snack of berries went untouched. He smiled and bent to kiss his wife on her forehead. He wondered if she missed him as much as he missed her. He brought her bowl of fruit to the kitchen and found a note on the fridge.

 _Edward,_

 _You probably ate all ready, but I made you a plate. I made a burger instead of the seabass. The plate is on the top. The rolls are in the bread box._

 _Bells_

Guilt spread throughout his body. Bella always tried to do what was best for everyone. She had a huge heart and was always thinking of everyone but herself. This was the fourth time this week he came home past midnight. He was exhausted and missed his family. He longed for lazy weekend mornings when he laid in bed with his wife. Now with their new baby he liked laying the infant on his stomach as he slept. They both wanted him more than they ever expected. Now that he was there it felt as if he always had been. Edward hated that his nights were spent in the conference room with his uncle working on this case. He especially hated how Jessica insisted on staying. She annoyed him, but he remained professional not matter what.

He shut off the light in the kitchen and walked over to his sleeping son who had just awoken. He picked him up before the baby had the chance to fuss. Edward quickly changed his diaper and heated up his milk and brought him upstairs. The father fed him and spoke to him as he drank his bottle. He told him how much he missed him and loved him. Told him how much he loved his mother and hoped he wasn't too much for her. By the time the bottle was empty, Seth had fallen back to sleep. Edward kissed his son and placed him in his crib, turned the monitor on and left the room.

Edward jogged back downstairs and looked at his sleeping wife. He didn't want to wake her, so he lifted her sleeping body into his arms as he had done so many times before. Gently, he climbed the stairs, placed her into the bed and tucked her in. He kissed her once more and got ready for bed. As he was getting ready himself, he thought about how he needed to do something nice for his wife. He also had to call Emmett, his older brother. Emmett had wanted to start flipping houses with him. Edward didn't know if he wanted to make the investment, so they were trying to set up a time to talk about it. So many things ran through his head by the time he reached his side of the bed.

The next morning began as the others had that week. Bella woke up to Edward calling for her and an item of clothing. She was in the nursery in the chair next to the crib.

"Bella, that white shirt I like a lot isn't here. Haven't you had time to go to the dry cleaners? I need that white shirt."

Bella wiped her eyes, checked to make sure Seth was still asleep and got up. She grabbed one of Edward's many white shirts and brought it to him. She held it in the bathroom while he was brushing his teeth.

"The dry cleaning won't be ready until Saturday. You literally have nineteen white shirts. Just pick one." Bella said hanging the shirt on the back of the door and walking out. She went to her dresser and began to get her clothes that she needed to start her day.

Edward looked at his wife as he buttoned his shirt. "Someone is in a bad mood this morning. I just wanted to know about the dry cleaning. Sorry to piss in your Cheerios."

"I wouldn't be in a bad mood if you could get your own clothes. How old are you? I'm sorry the dry cleaner isn't up to your speed, but it isn't my fault." Bella paused before she asked. "What time did you get in last night?"

"Midnightish. This case is killing me, and I woke up late today. Nothing ever goes right. Also, Jessica's car isn't working right even though she just picked it up and I have to get her again." He explained.

Bella rolled her eyes. "I just wanted to let you know I talked to my dad last night. I am going up to visit him next weekend. I was hoping that the case was done by then and maybe you could join us."

"You can't go. The case won't be over by then. I'll be here all alone. I'll go crazy coming home to an empty house. Tell your dad we'll go up when the case is over. It should be over by next month. He and your mom can always come down here," Edward told his wife as he calmed down.

"I can't go? When did we become that couple? Dad has the weekend off and my mom will be around. Emily might be there too. I'm here all by myself all day with Seth. It'll be nice to see other people. I might be able to actually get some help with him." Bella told him.

Edward looked at the clock. "I can't talk about this now. I am so late. We'll talk about this later."

"Should I make an appointment to discuss this through your assistant? Is that the best way to get in touch with you Mr. Cullen?" Bella asked sarcastically.

Sighing, Edward kissed his wife's cheek. "Don't do that. Just don't do that. We will talk about this, but I have to go." With that, Edward ran down the stairs and out the door.

Bella walked over to her bed and laid down. She wondered when she and Edward became that couple. They didn't see a lot of each other and when they did, they just argued and were angry and uptight. Silently tears began to leave her eyes. She rolled over and pulled the covers over her head when she heard the front door open.

"Bells?" Edward called for her.

"I'm still in the bedroom. What did you forget?" She asked as she sat up wiping her eyes.

Edward walked into their bedroom and sat on the foot of the bed. He saw her red eyes and wet cheeks. He sighed before speaking. "I didn't want to leave you like that."

"Well you did. You better hurry up. You're going to be late. I would hate if you had to keep Jessica waiting too long."

Taking a deep breath, Edward began to talk. "Don't mention her. This isn't about her. I'm sorry I'm stressed out and never home. This is a big case. I feel like I need to prove myself to my aunt and uncle. They will leave the practice to Alice and I one day. I must prove to them that I can handle it. I hate that I am missing time away from you and Seth. I really do. I liked it when I was on my leave and we lounged around all day. Laying in bed. We talked about our hopes and dreams for him. I hate that we don't have that now and when we are here all we do is argue. I hate it, but it will come to an end in time. Please understand why I am doing this. It's for me but it's for us. This is my job security. I have to prove that I can do this. It's so we will have a stable future. I love you Bella. Please try and understand where I am coming from."

Bella paused before she moved closer to her husband. She placed her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her. "I hate this. I hate that you are gone all the time and I hate that Jessica gets to spend more time with you than I do. I am really really insecure about her."

Edward took Bella's face in his hands. He kissed her lips. "I know you are but come on. Isabella, listen to me. You have nothing to worry about. You are the best human I know. I want to try and be more like you. Your heart and soul are pure and full of love. It is me who is lucky to call you my partner. Jessica is nothing. She's a suck up. I wish I could fire her but I don't have a reason to plus she does a lot to support the office. I've talked to Uncle Marcus about her but he doesn't see it. She's self-centered and honestly, she is so fake. She was telling Alice about these injections she gets in her face. She has had a boob job. Bella, she's literally fake. She's phony. She's everything that isn't you. You are my wife and I love you. She can't hold anything to you. I love you." Ha paused before continuing. "I'm sorry that I said you couldn't visit your family. That was stupid, and I wasn't thinking. Of course, you can go whenever you want to."

Leaning into her husband, she kissed him. "Thank you for talking to me. I feel somewhat better now. I guess I've been a baby and I just miss how things were with us. I miss being with adults during the day and night. I love Seth but he isn't one to hold a conversation."

Edward laughed. "We'll get there again after this case. This case can only make things better for us. You'll see."

* * *

"Cullen and Brandon Law this is Jessica how can I help you?" The voice on the other end of the phone said.

Bella cringed. "Hi Jessica, it's Bella. I wanted to set up an appointment tomorrow to surprise Edward. I know he's really busy and working really hard but I'd appreciate it if you could help me with this."

"I can book you from noon to one if that will work for you. Who am I kidding? You're a stay at home mom, of course you have all of the time in the world," Jessica told her in a snarky tone.

Bella bit her tongue hard before replying lightly. "If you only knew what happens during my day!"

"Feeding the baby. Changing the baby. Rocking the baby. Laundry and cleaning. Yep your day sounds exciting Bella. Let's see. Hmmmm. You and Edward have been married a few years right? It's sad that you already must schedule time to be with your husband. I wonder if the next stop will be to Mike Newton down the road?" Jessica told her with a laugh.

Mike Newton was a lawyer who specialized in divorces. Bella huffed and continued. "I'm sure you'd love that Jessica, but I wouldn't jump the gun. Edward and I are in this for the long haul."

"I'm sure that's what the Blisson's said before they saw Mike. I'm just glad I'm here to keep Edward company at night. Someone has to, right? Anyway, I will clear Edward's agenda tomorrow, so you can pay a visit. He'll be surprise when he sees you. You can count on that."

* * *

Once again Edward got home after midnight. He'd have to work the following night and at least Saturday. Sunday he and his legal team would go over the strategy before the trail resumed on Monday. He was exhausted and wanted to quit but he knew he couldn't. Times like this he wished he followed his father's footsteps and went into medicine. It was exhausted and tiring but not like this.

As he walked into the house he wasn't surprised to see Bella asleep on the couch. Seth was waking up. Edward took Seth changed and fed him before rocking him. He fell to sleep quickly.

Edward went down the stairs and picked Bella up and carried her gingerly as he had done so many times before. He tucked her into their bed and kissed her before getting ready for bed.

When Bella woke the next morning, she stretched and looked around. She was in her bed. She rolled over and noticed Edward's side was empty and cold. She listened and heard sounds from the baby monitor. She reached up and grabbed it.

"I am so sorry for not spending more time with you and your mom. I miss you buddy so much and mommy too. I'm working to make sure we have lots of things in the future. I don't know if you'll have a baby brother or sister one day but I want to make sure you all including mommy have everything you ever wanted. I love you Seth so much. I promise once daddy's work is done things will change. You'll see. I promise buddy." When Edward was done with his little talk his son was fast asleep. He kissed him and put him back in the crib. He walked out of his room and into his own room. He had a little while longer

Before his alarm went off for the day, he climbed back into bed. Only a few moments later he felt Bella's arms wrap around him. "You my husband are one sweet, sweet man. I heard what you told Seth." She leaned over and kissed him. "I'm sorry I've been so hard on you. I miss you so much Edward."

Edward kissed Bella back. "You have every reason to feel the way you do. I get it all, even the Jessica thing but I love you and wish I could spend the day with you right here. Don't apologize. He are in a weird place right now. It'll get better. I promise," He said again before he kissed her.

Bella rolled on top of Edward. She kissed him hard and passionate. Her hands traveled under his shirt. "You know we haven't made love since before Seth. We could change that now," she suggested as she kissed Edward again.

He didn't answer. Of course he wanted his wife and he missed being intimate with her. Edward's hands caressed her leg under her nightgown. They would have dipped into her panties if Seth hadn't picked that moment to cry and Edward's alarm hadn't gone off. He kissed her neck and sighed. "We will finish this. I will make sure I'm home tonight. No excuses. We'll hang out with Seth. We'll put him to sleep and then it'll be just us." He promised as Bella went to climb off of him. He quickly pulled her back and kissed her. "I love you Mrs. Cullen."

Bella smiled as she walked towards the door. "Back at you Mr. Cullen," she told him as she disappeared across the hall.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note:

Thanks for the warm welcome back to this world! I am so glad you guys are enjoying the story. I am thankful for the comments and adds. It means a lot to me.

I'm trying to stick to a once a week update, however that will be up to my arm and wrist. I'll try my best but please be patient with me.

I would love to know what you all think of the next chapter!

Thanks again for reading!

Lisa

* * *

Chapter Two

"Daddy's been working so hard and too many long nights and weekends. He misses us like we miss him. We're going to visit daddy at work," Bella smiled as she told her three-month-old infant son, Seth as she buckled him into her black Volvo SUV. She didn't care that she looked like a soccer mom driving around in it. She and Edward both had wanted top notch safety when it came to toting around their new child. She closed the back door and jumped into the front. She looked down and saw that she had remembered her purse and the baby's diaper bag. Bella put her seatbelt on and began to drive the sort distance to their local grocery store and then to Edward's office. She had called ahead and placed an order for lunch. She was going to pick it up and then drive the short distance to Edward's office. She smiled as she imagined the surprise look on his face.

Bella had met Edward when she was six and had moved from Arizona with her father, Charlie and her older brother Jasper. They had moved next door to the Cullens'. When the Cullen family had introduced themselves to the Swan's, relationships were formed. Although they had a new step mother, Esme Cullen had immediately adopted Jasper and Bella. Jasper became really good friends with her oldest son Emmett, who was his same age while Bella and her younger son Edward got along.

The younger siblings became the closest of friends and experienced many of life's firsts together. There was the death of the Cullen's cat that was run over by a car when the children were in second grade. When Bella was teased by Lauren Malloy in the cafeteria during fifth grade for not having a "real" mom, Edward threw milk on her and grabbed Bella's hand and told her to leave with him. Then there was the junior high dance in sixth grade where they danced their first slow song together. At the end of the song Edward leaned over to kiss Bella. It was another first, their first kiss. Two days later Edward asked Bella to be his girlfriend.

When the time to go to college rolled around, they were both devastated. Edward had received a full scholarship to Dartmouth in New Hampshire while Bella wanted to stay local and went to the University of Washington. They decided even though they loved each other that when it was time to leave for school, they would take a break. They both thought that it was hard enough to maintain a relationship when you are young and that being across the country and only seeing each other a few days every few months wasn't enough. During winter break when Edward had returned home they both admitted to each other that they attempted to date but it got nowhere. Edward was the one to tell Bella he missed her. They never broke up again.

The following fall semester, Edward transferred to the University of Washington. He and Bella moved into a tiny apartment just outside of Seattle together. It was their home until they graduated. After graduation they moved into a bigger apartment in the city. Bella found a full-time job writing for a local magazine while Edward continued his studies and worked towards law school. During the winter break that year, Edward asked Bella to marry him. She said yes, and they began planning the wedding after his graduation from law school.

Three years later, Edward graduated from school and found a job working for his aunt and uncle's law firm in Seattle with his cousin Alice. Alice's father, Marcus Brandon, had promised that when he retired he would leave the company to both Alice and Edward. Edward was shocked and thankful. Edward always felt he had to prove he was good enough to take over for his aunt and uncle. It was pressure only Edward put onto himself. He was good in his occupation and it showed. He won the majority of his cases.

The wedding was three months later and it was an event. Both Edward's parents as well as Charlie and Sue, Bella's father and step mother, had invited more people than Edward and Bella knew. They both agreed that even though it was elegant and beautiful, it was way more than they ever needed or wanted. They couldn't remember their wedding reception because they talked to so many people that evening.

After their honeymoon in Italy, Edward had his first big case. Marcus had insisted on hiring him an assistant. He hired Jessica Stanley, who went to high school with Bella and Edward. Both were not thrilled with this decision. It wasn't that Bella didn't trust her husband, because she did whole heartily. It was just the thought of her husband working late into the evening in his office with Jessica ready at his beck and call irritated her.

Almost seven months after their wedding, Bella walked into the office and knocked quietly on her husband's door.

" _Come in," she heard him from the other side of the door as he sighed sounding annoyed._

 _Bella walked into the room and closed the door. Edward didn't look up from his desk as he spoke. "Jessica, I told you I am fine for lunch. I'm not hungry. I'm working on the," he stopped when he looked up and saw Bella. A smile formed on his lips. He got up and walked towards his wife. His arms held her tightly against his body. "Hey babe. I wasn't expecting you. How is your afternoon?"_

 _Bella leaned up to kiss Edward and smiled. "Good, very good actually. Do you have a minute? I wanted to talk to you about something."_

" _Of course, come sit down. Do you want anything? Coffee? Water? I can have Jess go get you something."_

 _Bella shook her head as she smiled. "No, I'm fine really."_

" _I'm curious, why are you so, giddy?"_

" _Well, if you must know I went to the doctors today because I was feeling gross again this morning."_

 _Before she could continue, Edward interrupted her. "Finally! I'm so happy you listened to me. I've been telling you to go for over a week. What did she say?"_

 _A smile couldn't help but escape Bella's face. "She said that I am healthy." Bella paused and grabbed Edward's hand. "She also said in seven months we'd have a baby!"_

 _The feeling of shock ran through his body. They had talked about becoming parents for a long time and were trying, but now all of the talk was turning into reality. "Really? A baby? Us? Oh my god!" Edward said as he attacked his wife with kisses. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her again. "This is the best news I have ever heard. We're going to be parents!" Edward shouted happily._

 _Their bliss was short lived. Three weeks after Bella's news she noticed one morning she was spotting. She had miscarried their child. She had three more miscarriages within that year. They saw two specialists who reassured them that sometimes this happened to perfectly healthy women and sometimes there were no explanations to why it happened. Bella of course blamed herself and thought she wasn't meant to be a parent. She began to bury herself into work and was barely home. She told Edward she didn't feel whole._

 _Edward felt terrible that there was nothing he could do to make his wife feel adequate. She was depressed and just plain old unhappy. Out of the blue he whisked her away to St. Lucia for two weeks. Almost three months after their return, Bella discovered that she was pregnant again._

 _After much soul searching, Bella decided to quit her job. Her full-time job became taking care of herself and her unborn child. She became more serious about the healthy food she put into her body. She enjoyed her time off but missed Edward. He was assigned a few high-profile cases and worked a lot. Her hormones made her even more paranoid about Jessica. She was beautiful, and Bella felt, although she had a life growing inside her, she was fat and awkward. Edward reassured her everyday about her being beautiful and the only person he'd ever want to be with._

 _While they laid in bed on evening, Edward stroked her bulging belly, Bella brought up Jessica._

" _Are you sure there is nothing between the two of you? Please be truthful with me," Bella begged shutting her eyes._

 _Edward looked into his wife's eyes. He moved his hands to her face and cupped it. "You know, I have been in love with you since you were six years old and had pigtails. I knew even though I was a kid too that even at six you were something special. We tried the break up, but I came back to you. It has always been only you for me Isabella. I love you with everything I am. Jessica is, well, Jessica. Sure, she looks decent and is pleasant enough, most of the time, but she isn't you. There is no way I would want to be with her ever, and especially not when you are here with me. We created a baby Bells. We're going to be parents and there is no one else who has ever walked the face of the planet that I would want to do this with. You are it for me. So, to answer your question, no, no there is nothing going on between us. I really wish my uncle would just let her go."_

 _Bella sighed with relief and kissed him. Those were the words she needed to hear at that particular time._

 _After an easy delivery of only six hours, baby Seth Anthony was born with no complications. He weighed in at a healthy five pounds even and was fifteen inches long. He was their perfect addition. Edward stood by Bella's side for the first three months of Seth's life. He took time off from work to be there for his wife and son. He was in awe how quickly Seth grew._

 _Going back to work was hard on Edward, especially since he was thrown into another huge case. He had to work weekends and missed out on a lot of time with his growing son. Bella saw how tired her husband was once he returned home after a long day's work. He often fell asleep with Seth in his arms in the nursery. It broke Bella's heart to see Edward like this. She longed for the time they would spend as a family. They waited what felt like forever to have a child and Edward couldn't enjoy most of the time._

Bella pulled herself out of her thoughts and turned into the office parking lot. She grabbed the stroller from the back of the car and placed a sleeping Seth and his car seat on it. She picked up the bagged lunch and threw it underneath. She locked her doors and began walking towards the door.

"Bells! Wait up!" The male voice said behind Bella.

She turned to see her brother in law Emmett jogging after her. "Hey Em, how is it going?"

"You know, it goes," Emmett smiled. He was a doctor, just like his father. "How about you and the little guy, how are you guys doing?"

"We are perfect. Did you have a meeting with Edward? I cleared this time with Jessica to make sure Edward wasn't busy."

Emmett walked in front of her to hold the door open for her. "No, he actually just called a few minutes ago and asked me to stop by. We were talking flipping that house outside of the city. I think there is a big profit to be made. I don't think he's into it. We were texting about it but he decided it was easier to just talk about in person. I'm sorry I'll be intruding on your family time."

"Oh Em, no worries. You could even join us, I bought way too much food anyway. You just have to promise me something."

"What's that?"

Playfully, Bella laughed and hit his shoulder. "You and Rose have to come over for dinner. You guys have been married for almost six months and I believe that I promised you a nice dinner. I miss our monthly dinners. I miss you my cousin and I miss you."

One of the reasons Charlie Swan moved to the little town of Forks all those years ago was to be closer to his baby sister Mary and her family. Mary was Rose's mother. Rose was like a sister to Bella. Like Bella and Jasper, she had spent much of her childhood with the Cullens'. Her friendship with Emmett had grown into love. They had been together almost as long as Bella and Edward. Smiling, Emmett looked at Bella. "I promise. I'll talk to Rosie and see what I can do."

"You know, I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?" Emmett asked.

Bella laughed. "Get away with calling her Rosie. She's kill anyone else!" Bella laughed. It was true. Rosalie was as beautiful and fit as any super model gracing the cover of any magazine on the newsstands, but she was also tough as nails. She had to be. She was an auto mechanic. She felt like she had to prove herself more than any man. Men tried to treat her like she was dumb or short change her because she was a woman but that didn't matter. She stuck to her guns. She was so popular as a mechanic that she had to open another shop outside of Seattle.

Emmett held the door open for Bella as they entered the building.

"Oh Bella! I didn't know you were stopping by," Jane said to her as she walked over to hug her. Jane looked in the baby carriage and smiled. "He's getting so big!"

Bella smiled. "I'm here to visit Edward for lunch. I called Jessica yesterday so I could surprise Edward. She said he had some time. He apparently called Emmett as well so we are both here to see him."

"That's great darling. He'll be so happy to see you. I want you to know as soon as he walked in her this morning he marched into my office and said he was leaving at seven. I could not stay a minute past seven. He had to be a husband and a father. Then he walked right out of the room!'"

Beaming, Bella looked at the older woman in front of her. "He did? I get him tonight? I'm very excited!"

"It's the least we can do Bella. I know this case has him working his ass off. In my thirty years of law I've never been up against someone so deceitful and conniving. It's stressed us all out, except Alice who is getting stuck with all the easy cases. Anyway, he's in his office I won't keep you any longer. Come back more often. I love seeing that baby! Emmett it was good seeing you too honey," Jane said as she placed a kiss on his cheek and walked away.

They walked past Jessica's desk which was empty. Bella sighed with relief. She wouldn't have to face her. She and Emmett made conversation as they walked to Edward's door. The hushed, harsh tones should have been a giveaway that something wasn't right. Emmett knocked but he didn't replay. Emmett and Bella shrugged their shoulders as he opened the door. He was in complete shock was he watched Jessica unbutton her shirt. She sat in her bra on Edward's desk with her legs open. Emmett tried to shield Bella from the scene, but it was too late.

"Oh my god," Bella chocked. She just stood in the office watching her husband. Tears quickly fell from her eyes.

"Bella!" Edward yelled. "This isn't what it looks like. I know it looks bad baby but really. I was actually just firing Jessica." He stood up and pushed Jessica off his desk. His face was red and he radiated anger. "I told you to get the fuck out of here. Get your fucking shirt and your personal belongings because Jessica you are fired. Get the fuck out of here!" He roared as he threw her shirt at her. Jessica stood up behind Edward and smiled. He walked over to Bella and reached for her. "Bella?"

"Don't you touch me!" Bella yelled as she shook her head. "I don't know who you are. I-I-I-I've got to get out of here."

"No Bella, I swear to god this isn't what it looked like," Edward began to beg. "Bella please believe me. You know I would never do this to you honey."

"All of those late nights and Jessica needing rides? I'm a fool. I'm an idiot." As Bella looked from Edward she saw Jessica who was still standing in her spot. Nodding at everything Bella was saying. Bella started to breath heavy. "I'm leaving. I can't look at you right now," Bella said as she cried and began to push the carriage out of the door.

"Bella!" Edward yelled as he began to follow her.

Emmett placed his hand on Edward's wrist, stopped him and looked at his brother. Edward was one of his favorite people but now he could barely stand to look at him. He knew Edward worked late and he also knew that Bella didn't like Jessica. It was known. "I can't believe you would do something like that! I'm so disappointed in you bro. I'm going to go after her. I'm not losing a sister over you. You do whatever you need to do. Finish up, take a cold shower whatever."

"Fuck you Emmett. I didn't do anything."

"Whatever. I don't care about you right now. I care about that woman who is like a sister to me who is heartbroken. I'm going after her. She is in no condition to drive and she has your son with her. Someone needs to check on her and you seem to have your arms full," Emmett said taking off from his brother. As he exited the office, he heard Jessica say something to Edward but he shut off his mind.

Emmett ran as fast as he could to catch up to Bella. She was sitting on the bench in front of the practice. She couldn't stop crying. Emmett wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. She tucked her head into his shoulder and let lose. Tears wear freely rushing from her eyes down her check. When she was calm he looked at her. "Do you want a ride some place?"

Bella shook her head. "How could he do this Emmett? I've never felt so much pain in my entire life. I feel like I can't breathe."

Rubbing her back, Emmett didn't say anything at first. "I'm sorry Bells. I never in a million years thought that he would do something like this."

"Me neither. He knew how insecure I was about her. He knew I hated her. That's been no secret since we were in high school." Bella stood up and she looked as Seth slept peacefully. He had no idea that his mother's world was crashing down. She looked back at Emmett. "Would you mind taking him? I just want-I need to be alone right now. I have to figure out a few things."

"Of course. Let's go get the base for his seat and I'll drive him over to mom's," Emmett offered.

"Well, could we just switch cars? It is kind of a pain to take that thing out and put it back in. Plus your car is only a two seater."

"Yes, that is fine. Come on," Emmett said as he led Bella to his car across the street.

They walked to Emmett's little Porsche. It always surprised Bella how such a massive man could fit into such a tiny car. Emmett spent time explain how to operate his car to Bella. She took all of it in. She bent down to kiss her baby and then put a hand on Emmett's cheek. "Thank you again Em. I really couldn't imagine seeing that alone." She looked up and saw Edward standing near her car. She knew it would only be a few seconds before he found them. "Emmett, promise me that you won't let Seth go with Edward. No matter what. Just bring him to mom's like you said? Like I said I need to figure a few things out."

Emmett promised. "I will get him there as soon as you leave." He paused, and he noticed for the first time she was shaking. He had second thoughts about letting her go off alone. She looked scared and emotional. He was thinking maybe it wasn't a good idea to let her drive off by herself. "Bells, are you sure you're all right to go? I can drive you to wherever you need to go and then split with Seth."

Smiling weakly, Bella nodded. "I'll be fine. I just have to get my thoughts straight. Tell mom I'll be there in about an hour, okay? Don't tell her anything about what happened. Just tell her that I had an appointment, okay? I don't want to say anything about what we saw. I just need to think about it."

"I promise," Emmett said as he watched Bella get into the car.

Bella nodded as she started the car. She took off and merged into traffic. She only got to the next block when she pulled the car over. Tears and emotion over whelmed her. She took deep breaths. Her phone hadn't stopped ringing and beeping with text messages since she left Edward's office. She threw it out the window and rested her head on the steering wheel. She took a deep breath and formulated a plan in her head. She would pack her belongings and Seth's for a few days and take off to her parents' house in Forks. She had to think and be away from everything.

Her mind began to roam. Why would Edward cheat, she thought? Her heart said that she needed to wake up and realize that Edward would never cheat on her. They had been together too long and he had so many chances with others in the past whether it was in a club or out to dinner. Women found their way of hitting on Edward. Beautiful women at that but he always refused their advances-as far as she knew.

Then she thought about her appearance and how she appeared to him. She came to the conclusion he strayed because she hadn't regained her once slim figure. She wasn't fat but she had another ten to fifteen pounds to lose to be at her pre pregnancy weight. It was a lot of work to take care of a baby and maybe he was just sick of it. Bella looked in the mirror and saw that she didn't look like the young woman she once was. She looked tired. Plus, she was insecure which she had admitted to Edward.

Her mind then drifted to Jessica. Fake or not, Jessica was so perfect looking. Her body wasn't recovering from pregnancy and she wasn't feeding or pumping her milk several times a day. Why wouldn't Edward take advantage of the situation? Then a thought worse than seeing Jessica in her bra on Edward's desk. Her brain determined that everything was a lie. She knew Edward lied to her. All those late nights and weekends he spent working, he wasn't working at all. He was with her. A new batch of tears escaped from her eyes. She happened to look out the window and saw Edward running on the opposite side of the street. He was trying to get her attention and was running in the direction of the car. Not wanting to see him, she wiped her eyes, took a few deep breaths and hurried back in to traffic.

Bella's only goal was to get as far away from Edward as she could. She floored it to get back into the traffic flow. She hadn't looked before getting back in to traffic and the brown UPS truck didn't have time to stop. Without notice, the car spun out of control. It had spun and completed two three sixty's across four lanes of traffic. Bella was thrown through the windshield of the car and laid on the busy street. The UPS drive quickly exited the car and called nine one-one.

"Hi, I was just hit by a sports car. I'm fine but the driver of the other car went through the windshield is laying in front of the car. She is beat up really badly," the driver told the dispatcher.

"Miss, can you hear me?" The drive asked as Edward crossed the street. He had seen the whole incident happen before his eyes. He ran over to her motionless body.

"Bella! Jesus Christ!" He yelled looking at the blood that surrounded her. "Oh my god! Bella! Jesus Bella say something!" Edward yelled again as he stood over to her still body. Tears left his eyes as he bent down and kissed her.

"Do you know her?" The truck driver asked.

With tears streaming down his face, Edward nodded. "She's my wife." Being the son of a doctor, Edward knew to look for a pulse. He couldn't find one. He started chest compressions through his tears.

The truck driver told the dispatcher. She encouraged Edward to keep it up until the paramedics arrived.

When the ambulance got to the scene the first responders took over. They quickly took her to the back of the vehicle. Edward accompanied them to the hospital. He shook as he looked down at his blood-stained clothes. He realized that the situation didn't look good for Bella.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note:

I didn't forget about the story! Sorry about the delay. I had a bronchial virus that just wouldn't go away. It felt like when I had pneumonia. It was awful. I was completely wiped out for over a week. The worse part was there was nothing my doctor could do because I didn't have an infection. It was just a virus that wouldn't go away. My stomach hurt from coughing so much that I half expected to wake up with defined abs (sadly, that was not the case). I still feel like I have had the life drained from me but I guess I'm getting better. No matter how bad it was, I am thankful it wasn't the flu (by the way, do you know they test for it by sticking a swab like thing up your nose? Gross! I didn't know this until my doctor tested me for it. Ypu'd think there would be a better way!).

Okay-enough of me talking. Here is the next chapter. I hope you like it. Please let me know what you think!

-Lisa

* * *

Chapter Three

" _How was school? The east coast?" Bella asked Edward as she stood in her driveway. It was cold outside. She ran out to the mailbox when Edward had pulled into his parents' driveway. When he saw her, he walked over to his mailbox as well. This conversation was the first she had with Edward since they broke up and said goodbye in late August. Christmas was a week away and they both were home to celebrate the holiday with their families._

 _Edward shook his head. "It is okay, highly over rated. I think I prefer being back here. Boston is fun, and New York City was amazing, but New Hampshire just isn't my thing. What about you? How's school? How is Seattle?"_

 _Bella laughed. "It is a lot of fun. I really love it. I'm not too crazy about my roommate but the rest isn't so bad." She paused as she shyly asked, "Have-have you been seeing anyone?"_

 _Shrugging, Edward looked up. He noticed Bella was freezing as she stood in just a long sleeve shirt. He wanted to continue talking to her but didn't want her to freeze. Edward quickly removed his jacket and placed it on her shoulders as he continued. "I've dated some, but I haven't met anyone I want to have a relationship with. How…how about…you?"_

" _I've been out with a few guys, but nothing ever developed into anything, so no, no I haven't."_

" _I miss you Bells, I miss you a lot. I've compared every girl to you and they don't even begin to add up. None of them could hold a candle to you," Edward honestly stated._

 _Giggling, Bella looked into Edward's emerald eyes. "Funny, I was doing the same thing. No one came close to you. They were nice but they weren't you," she whispered.  
_

 _Finally laughing Edward looked at her. "Why did we think it was such a good idea to break up again? Who's idea was that? It was a terrible idea!"_

Bella looked at Edward and smiled sadly. " _I don't know. I guess in theory it seemed like a good idea, especially with you being so far away, but now, now I don't think it was a good idea. I miss you, so much."_

" _No, it probably wasn't a good idea," Edward smiled as walked closer to Bella. He placed his arms around her and smiled. "I'm finishing out the year at Dartmouth but then I'm heading home. I'm transferring to the University of Washington."_

Bella shook her head. " _But you have a scholarship, you can't throw that away. Plus, Dartmouth is a great school Edward, its ivy league. It's your dream school. You didn't think you'd get accepted there."_

 _Edward began to explain what he was thinking. "I know that but I really miss being here. This is where I belong. I don't fit in there. It isn't home. I talked to my advisor about it and then my parents. Washington gave me a pretty similar deal, as long as I keep my grades up, which you know is a piece of cake for me. I'm coming home."_

" _Really?" Bella asked with glee in her voice._

" _Really," Edward simply replied with a smile on his face._

" _Edward Anthony Cullen, why are you really giving up going to your dream school? It's an ivy league school," she repeated. She wanted to make sure she understood what he was saying and wanted to make sure she wasn't dreaming.  
_

" _You know I'm a mama's boy," he paused to listen to the angelic sound of her laugh. "I miss getting my ass kicked by Emmett and Jasper," he said referring to their brothers. "I miss you. I was hoping during our break we could spend some time catching up with each other. Maybe we could start things back up between us? I miss you so much. You can't imagine. My roommate Ben thought I was gay for the longest time because it took a while to even look at someone else, let alone go out and date or actually interact with another girl. He teased me and said I was really pretty. He wanted to know about my hair care."_

Bella could no longer hold her laughter in. " _Gay hu? You better not have changed that much Cullen!" Bella paused as she walked closer to Edward. "Pretty? You're handsome and might even titter on the edge of gorgeous, but pretty you are not. You do however have great hair," Bella said as she ran a hand through Edward's hair. After he swatted her hand away, Bella wrapped her arms around Edward's neck as she stood on her tip toes. She kissed him. "I can imagine how much you've missed me because I have missed you so much and yes, I want nothing more than to be with you again. I love you Edward, so much that sometimes it is scary, and it hurts too."_

" _I love you too, my Bella," Edward said as he swung her around. When he placed her on her feet, Edward planted a sweet kiss on her lips and held her close to him as the snow began to fall from the sky._

* * *

Edward had awoken from his day dream to find him still sitting in the family waiting room of the Intensive Care Unit at the hospital. He wasn't sure if it was just minutes or if hours had actually passed as he sat there with Emmett, who was holding Seth, and their mother. Emmett hadn't looked at Edward for the duration of him being in the room. He was so angry with Edward and refused to listen to him at all. His concern was his nephew and the promise he made to his mother.

"I'm begging you both again to please tell me," Esme asked with tears rolling from her eyes, "tell me how this happened and why Bella was driving Emmett's car and why the baby was with him and not with Edward or Bella? Please!"

Silence engulfed the room. Emmett, who was feeding Seth looked his mother and spoke. "Why don't you ask your son over there? He has all the answers to everything. Ask him why Bella ran out of his office hysterically crying, go head, ask him."

"Shut the fuck up Emmett, really," Edward responded as he placed his head in his hands. "Nothing happened."

"Both of you watch your tones and language," Esme scolded them. "Please, will one of you tell me what happened to Bella?"

Before either one of them had a chance to answer, Carlisle entered the room. He was in full doctor mode and had the latest news of what was going on with his daughter-in-law. He looked exhausted and in need of a shave. "She is pretty banged up and she is still unconscious. She's actually in a coma," he spoke slowly. He looked over at his son who ran his fingers through his hair. He began to tug at it. Water left his eyes. He looked at his son. His small three-month-old son taking his bottle from his uncle. Emmett was on his high horse and claimed that Bella didn't want Edward near Seth.

"She has to be all right. She is breast feeding Seth. We don't have that much in the freezer, maybe a day or two's worth so she has to wake up," Edward said frantically trying to rationalize his son's nutritional source.

Carlisle walked over and rubbed his son's shoulders. "It's okay Edward. Although breast milk is the best, it isn't an option right now. We'll get him started on some good formula. I'll even ask one of the nurses to get it from the maternity ward as to which one is the best. I'm sure that I can get samples just to make sure Seth doesn't have a reaction to it. He'll do fine and will be okay. There are way too many medications in her body right now to try to get milk from her. She would pass them onto Seth."

"She is very adamant about breast feeding dad. She wants the best for him. I think we have enough to wait until she wakes up and we can ask her what she wants to do. I want to make this decision together," Edward stated almost ignoring his father's reasoning.

Carlisle looked at Edward and took a deep breath. "Edward, Bella is in a coma. I don't know when she will come out of it. We can't wait to ask her."

"Well, can't you just take her off the medication and gradually wake her up?"

"Edward, this isn't a medical induced coma. Her body put itself into a coma." Carlisle paused as he watched his son's face go from pale to gray. He continued to talk about the baby's health. "We will get him the best formula since her milk isn't an option right now. He will be okay. We will get him the best Edward."

Edward shook as the next few words exited his body in a soft, scared tone. "Is she going to die?"

"Isn't it too late to worry about that now?" Emmett sneered.

"Emmett!" Esme scolded him. "Please respect your brother! He is going through some rough stuff right now. We all love Bella and I understand we are all stressed. Just please be nice to him right now."

"Is she dad? Is she going to die?" Edward repeated.

Carlisle sighed. He heard Esme gasp and he saw the look on Emmett's face. "Well, to be honest with you she isn't out of the woods yet."

Emmett got angry. He took Seth and stomped towards the door. He looked up at Edward and sternly spoke through his teeth, "I hope it was worth it," and stormed out the door.

Esme and Carlisle's eye were on Edward. "What the hell is this all about? What is going on between you two and why is your wife in the middle of this whole thing?" Esme asked. "Please make us understand what happened Edward. I want to know now!"

Edward sighed as he sat back down in the spot vacated by his brother. He began crying uncontrollably. Carlisle placed an arm around Edward to console him. "It looked so bad. I know how it must have looked but it didn't happen. I swear to god nothing happened."

"What didn't happen?" Esme asked as she wrapped her arms around her son. She looked up at her husband. "Tell us what is so bad and why your brother is acting like this."

Edward swallowed as he told his parents the encounter. Tears ran freely from his eyes as he began his story.

* * *

" _Jessica, could you please cancel the rest of my appointments. I need to work on the Hunter case and I want to get home to see Bella and Seth at a reasonable hour tonight. She has fallen asleep waiting for me over the last few nights," Edward told his assistant over the speaker phone._

" _Sure. The mail is here, do you want it?" She asked._

 _Edward was waiting on information for the case he was working on. "That would be great Jess, thank you. Also, would you mind bringing in a bottle of water?"_

" _Sure, I'll be there in a few," she replied bubbly as she went to fetch him water._

 _As promised, Jessica came in with the mail and water. She walked over to the desk and sat on it as she handed Edward the mail. She looked at Edward, who looked away from her direction and at his notes for his case. "We've known each other for a long time now, haven't we?"_

 _Edward was busy looking at the contents of the envelope in his hand to really pay attention to her. He answered her half heartily, "Yes. I'm sorry Jess, I don't have time to go down memory lane. I need to work on this-"_

" _Did you know that I have always harbored a slight crush on you?" Jessica asked with a smile as she interrupted him. She rubbed her legs together._

" _No I didn't," he lied still reading the document in his hands. Jessica had made her feelings known on several occasions. He had never told Bella. He knew his wife would over react. It was bad enough that he wanted her out of the company and out of his life, but Edward didn't want Bella to have to worry. The truth of the matter was Edward was ready to fire Jessica. She dressed in appropriately and was too flirty. She did her job correctly but was usually inappropriate when Edward was alone. She made him feel uncomfortable._

" _You know, I'm an independent woman. When I want something I get it," she began as she leaned down and touched his arm that rested near the desk. He quickly pulled it away and finally looked at her. She began to unbutton her shirt. "I want you Edward."_

 _Adamantly Edward shook his head and looked at her. "I don't want you. Please get off my desk, close your legs and button up your shirt."_

" _Come on, you've been with Bella for, well, she is the only one you've been with, am I right?" She paused and then waved her hand. Edward's head was still faced away from her. "It doesn't matter. I'm here to give you a little variety in life," with that she dropped her shirt and leaned forward. "I'll do whatever you want me to whenever you want me to."_

 _Edward stood up and leaned into her, so she could hear him. "Jessica, this is highly inappropriate. I want you to get the hell off my desk and pick up your fucking shirt and clean out your desk, you are fired! I am going to call my uncle and tell him of this episode. Leave now before I call security to escort you out. You will be hearing from my lawyer. This is sexual harassment and I'm through. Get the hell out of here NOW!"_

" _Oh Edward," Jessica smiled as she heard Emmett's voice on the other side of the door. She looked at the clock and figured that Bella was with him. She smiled as she sat on the desk. She opened her legs a little wider to revel her sexy underwear. "I forgot to tell you, your wife scheduled a meeting with you. She wanted to surprise you with lunch and time with your little boy. I bet she is on the other side of that door," with the last work leaving Jessica's mouth, she dropped her bra.  
_

" _Get away from me now and get your fucking clothes on!" Edward seethed before the door opened._

* * *

"And that is what Emmett and Bella walked in on. I know it looked bad but god, I never touched her, I swear. I never wanted to be with her ever. I love my wife and I would never do that to Bella. I know Bella has insecurities when it comes to Jessica, but I have never been the least bit interested in her. I wasn't in high school and I certainly don't have an interest now. I tried to explain what happened to both Emmett and Bella, but they didn't want to hear it. Emmett said that Bella didn't want me near Seth and he is acting like his protector now. She took Emmett's car to be alone for a bit. I just want my wife and my son, and I want to go home," Edward continued to ball. He lifted his head and realized something. "Bella probably thinks that I have lied to her all these weeks. She probably thinks that I really haven't been working on the weekends and late at night. She probably thought there was something between Jessica and me. I have to tell her that there is nothing! She has to believe me!"

Esme hugged her son as he broke down in her arms. Carlisle rubbed his back as he spoke gently. "You can go see her in a little bit, but not now. Tests are still being run and they are making her comfortable."

"When will she wake up?" Edward asked.

Sadly, Carlisle shook his head. "I don't know when she will son. We have to wait and see. Just have faith-"

Edward stood up and wiped his eyes. He rubbed his hands over his face and looked at his father. "Right, you said that spiel all ready. I'm not just some other patient's family you are talking to, I'm your son and I want you to give me answers! She's been like your daughter since we were in the first-grade dad! I want you to tell me that the mother of my son, that my wife, the person I love more than anything else in the world is going to be okay. She's my reason for being. Her life means more to me than my own. Please tell me dad that my whole reason for existing is going to be okay, please?" Edward said as he started to cry once again.

Carlisle engulfed his son in a hug. "I wish I could say something else Edward, but I can't. I'm just being honest. I don't want to lie to you. I just plain old don't know what is going to happen. I'm sorry but we're just going to have to wait and see."


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note:

Hi everyone. Here's another installment of Finding What Was Lost. Thank you all for the adds and for the comments and reviews. I am behind and will be responding to those after I post the story. I'm glad so many people seem to like the story! I have been working on it and will try to update in the beginning of next week. I am taking my friend's daughter to New York City for a few days during winter vacation. I'm so excited to share my love the city with someone who has never been there before!

One last thing. I know nothing about comas. I read briefly and I didn't realize there were different kinds of comas. The little bit mentioned in this chapter and the next was from a combination of reading a few different websites. It was interesting. So please keep in mind that this is a work of fiction. If I missed a few things just roll with it!

Please keep the reviews coming. I love reading what you think!

Happy reading!

Lisa

* * *

Chapter Four

" _For the first time tonight, I would like to introduce you all to the new Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen," the DJ announced as the couple walked into their reception. Guests stood on their feet and clapped as they spotted the couple. "Now join me as we play their wedding song, 'I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You,' by Savage Garden as they enjoy their first dance as husband and wife."_

 _Edward held his bride close to him as the music started. He smiled brightly at heard the music and faintly saw other people in the room. his focus remained on his wife. "Hi Mrs. Cullen. I love your dress."_

 _Bella laughed. She stood there in her beautiful wedding dress waiting to dance with her now husband. Her arms were draped around Edward's neck. Her dress was fully embroidered and beaded bodice of Chantilly lace on a gorgeous A-line skirt of silk organza. It also had a beaded sweetheart neckline. "I don't think I'll ever get sick of hearing that."_

" _You don't think you'll get sick of hearing about your dress?" Edward joked. "It is beautiful. Not as beautiful as you but it's a nice dress."  
_

 _Shaking her head. "No, you silly man! I don't think I'll ever get sick of hearing you call me your wife."_

 _As he leaned into her, Edward stole a kiss. Their guests all cheered and yelled. "Good because you'll be hearing it for the rest of your life. I love you so much. You really do look so stunning."_

" _Thank you and you look good yourself." Bella paused as she listened to the song. She couldn't help but laugh. "This song is so terrible! Why did we pick it?"_

" _It's the first song we ever danced to in high school." Edward explained as he spun her._

" _I know, I know, but it is so cheesy," Bella replied. "It does bring back some memories. We were so young, and such know it- all's."_

 _Edward kissed Bella's cheek. "It's true. We thought we were so smart. We thought we knew everything."_

" _We knew nothing!" Bella looked up at Edward with wide chocolate eyes. "There is one thing I knew then and I know now."_

" _What's that?"_

" _I have loved you since I met you."_

" _Don't you mean before you met me?" Edward asked chuckling making a reference to the song title._

" _You are so not good with the jokes Edward!" Bella paused as the song wound down. "Yes, I guess you're right though. I loved you for my whole life. There will never be anyone else for me. You're it. You're all I know and all I want to know."_

 _Ignoring the sounds of the glasses dinging, Edward kissed his wife again. "I love you so much Bella. There will never, ever be anyone else for me, never."_

 _For the remainder of the evening, Edward and Bella mingled with their family and friends. They thanked everyone personally for coming out and spending their special day with them. They didn't get a chance to eat dinner because there were too many people to talk to. When it came time for the cake, they didn't shy away! They were excited about their four-tier strawberry shortcake cake; however, they were surprised when they cut into it and found carrot cake. It wasn't only a flavor they didn't care for, but it had walnuts, which Edward was deathly allergic to. Bella cried. There would be no piece of cake to freeze and eat on their first anniversary. There would be no cake for them to eat at the reception. Esme hugged her. She promised to call the bakery on Monday to give them a piece of her mind. Bella was very upset over the cake mix up. She felt she was missing a giant tradition for the reception._

 _As the guests enjoyed the cake, Emmett had snuck out and drove to the convince store down the street. He bought a package of Hostess Cupcakes. He hurried back and presented them to Bella and Edward. Bella cried as she wrapped her arms around her faux brother. It wasn't the gourmet cake that they had ordered and hoped for, however, it was the thought that count and completed their day. Both she and Edward were moved by Emmett's thoughtfulness._

 _When the evening settled down, Edward and Bella were back in their hotel room where they would spend one evening. The following day they would be jet setting for Fiji. Edward looked at Bella as she sat on the bed. Her legs were crossed. Gone was her giant wedding dress. In its place were shorts and a tank top. They were opening their gifts. Edward studied Bella as she laughed reading a card. She looked up at him and smiled. "What?"_

" _I can't take my eyes off you. Today was perfect you know."_

 _Bella couldn't help but chuckle again. "Perfect Edward? Perfect? We got McDonald's on the way back to our room because we didn't get a chance to eat. The caterers' messed up our dinner completely and the bakery used walnuts in the cake and could have killed you._ _Emmett was sweet though to go out and buy the cupcakes for us, even if they were from Seven Eleven and prepackaged. It was so nice of him. Anyway Edward, I don't know where you were today, but it was far from perfect."_

" _All those things were true but my god Bella, I am-I can't even tell you how I feel. Happy doesn't begin to describe how I feel about you, and us. Elated might be a good start. I mean we are really married, bound together for this life and whatever might come after. Today is truly the best day of my entire life. It will probably stay that way and not ever change, except maybe when we have a child. Their birth will compare but this might just be my number one day. I love you." He paused before holding up his hand. "Look we are married!"_

 _Laughing, Bella stood up and dragged her feet over to her husband. She wrapped her arms around him, stood up on her tippy toes and kissed him. "You are such a dork Edward but I love you too. Look, we are married!" She stood on her toes and pulled herself up to him. "You know what would make this day really perfect?"_

" _What's that? You know anything you want is yours. Just tell me."_

" _I want you to take me to bed husband," she smiled._

" _Now you are talking Mrs. Cullen," Edward said as he lifted her up. He gently dropped her on the bed before he crawled on top of her and kissed her again._

* * *

"Mom started pureeing foods for Seth. He seems to really like them. He's such a good eater Bells. He loves the cereal mixed with bananas. He likes the rice cereal but isn't a fan of the oatmeal. I laughed when I tried to feed it to him. I know how much you hate oatmeal. You should see his face when he eats it, he looks just like you honey! You make that face that you don't really know what to do with the oatmeal. The one where you want to spit it out, but you don't? Well, Seth makes that face too except he does spit it out!" Edward laughed as he held Bella's hand. He clasped their hands together. "Bananas seem to be his favorite food though. Oh, yea and he loves the squash too. He's not so much a fan of the peas either, but then again I guess you can't win them all," Edward explained to his wife who was still in a coma. He smiled as he spoke of their son. "While the nurses were bathing you, I went down to the lobby to meet mom. Seth fell asleep on the way up here, so he is still in his car seat." Edward began to tell his wife.

Seth was growing a rapid pace in the five weeks since Bella was admitted to the hospital. How could a month and one week seem like a lifetime? That it was weeks since he heard her voice or her laugh. She still laid in a coma. Gone were the bruises and the bandages. Her face was still yellowed from the bruises healing but the dark purple marks had faded. She looked like her beautiful self just sleeping.

Carlisle explained that her body was working hard to heal itself from the injuries from the accident. He believed that it would only be a matter of time before she awoke. Edward was beginning to feel more skeptical. Carlisle also told him that week five was usually critical and was afraid she might have brain damage if she was in a coma any longer.

Although he never showed it, he was starting to lose his faith. He missed the sound of her voice or just holding her hand. He missed coming home from work later at night and seeing her asleep. He missed slipping into their bed and laying beside her and holding her. Her laugh. He missed her laugh too. The list was countless of the things he missed. His family and friends could feel him loosing hope but never let on they knew. They were all positive for him, not matter how difficult it was.

Carlisle and Esme's worries focused on Edward. They both had the faith that Bella would wake up. It was Edward they were concerned with. He hardly ate and had lost weight. The only time he let Bella's bedside and got fresh air was when the nurses came to take her to her testing or to bathe her. He took a walk around the hospital grounds, but he would always return to Bella's room. He had no appetite and often left his meals that his mother prepared for him. In the beginning he would nibble on them. Now they went untouched.

Emmett was the first to voice his concern for his younger brother. After Esme and Carlisle sat down and explained to Emmett about the real events of that fateful day, he felt terrible that he didn't listen to his brother. Instead of being there for him, he totally abandoned him. He believed that Edward was capable of the worse. If he would have thought he would have known that Edward only had eyes for Bella. Jessica had tried to come between them in high school and once when she began to work at the firm. Edward had confided in Emmett about how uncomfortable Jessica made him feel. Emmett knew all of this and felt terrible that he didn't remember all of the information over a month ago. Edward, in true fashion, forgave his brother without a second thought. Edward didn't have the energy to remain mad at his brother and really needed his support.

Before Edward could say another word, there was a knock on the door. "Is anyone in here?" The voice asked.

"Yes, we are all here," Edward said with a slight smile as he walked to the door to greet his father in law. He and Jasper had been staying at Bella and Edward's house since the accident. Both took time off to be with their loved one and be there for Edward. Sue made the trip on the weekends. She didn't want anyone to feel over crowded. She came and stayed at Edward's house too Thursday through Sunday afternoon. Emily, Bella and Jasper's younger half-sister, also made the trip down with her mother. Bella was always surrounded by people who loved and cared about her recovery. "Good morning Charlie."

"Good morning son. How is our girl this morning?" Charlie asked as he placed a hand on Edward's shoulders.

"The same. Still nothing has changed. Did you drive here today?" Edward asked surprised. Charlie was holding a set of keys in his hand which made Edward curious. Jasper treated his care like his baby. It was a brand-new Audi Q7. Charlie loved it but Jasper would never let anyone else drive it, not even his father who was chief of police. Charlie always tried to drive but Jasper always said no.

"No Jasper did. He is parking the precious car. He'll be up soon. How are you holding up?" Charlie asked sincerely.

"I'm," Edward stopped and chuckled lightly. He knew he could lie to his mother and father, poorly, but when it came to his father in law, he just couldn't lie. "Look at me, I'm a mess. My wife is in a coma. I'm here all the time, which makes me a part time parent at best to our son. I'm the only parent he has functioning right now and look at me. I've been living out my dad's locker for a over a month. This is my fault Charlie, this is my fault,' Edward whispered.

Charlie placed his hand on Edward's shoulders. He and Edward had this conversation several times since the accident. "Edward, this isn't your fault. Bella has always had the tendency to overreact."

"Charlie, you are like a father to me. You have to stop lying to me. If anyone will level with me, it's you. You know I caused this, right?"

Shaking his head Charlie looked at the distraught man in front of him. Edward was only thirty, but he had the look of worry of a sixty five year old. This was a conversation that they had many times over the five weeks. "No, this isn't your fault. I love Bella, but sometimes she has the tendency to jump the gun before she knows all of the facts. Maybe you worked long hours and after she saw you with Jessica at your desk the worse took a hold of her. I don't know what she was thinking, but Edward, none of this is your fault."

Shaking his head, Edward continued as he looked down. "I don't know how you can be so kind to me. I put your daughter into the hospital."

"You should know me by know Edward I don't lie. I don't play around with my kids. You are like a son to me. You have been since we moved next to you and you took Bella under your wings then. Without knowing her you were protective of her, like you are now. You love her unconditionally and it is apparent. Everyone sees it Edward. You say you did nothing with your secretary and I believe you. I have no reason not to. I know you would do nothing to hurt our girl."

"If I didn't work so much she wouldn't have had to make an appointment to see me through Jessica. What kind of husband am I when my own wife has to make an appointment to see me? I almost guarantee that Jessica wasn't nice to her when she called me at work. I wonder how many messages Bella left that I never got. Don't you see, if I didn't neglect my wife she wouldn't be here now Charlie!"

Silence filled the two of them. Charlie was the first to speak up. "Do you know that Bella blames herself for her mother's death."

"She talked to me about it once and I told her it was nonsense. It was circumstance. Renee went in labor too soon and Bella was stuck. It was all circumstance. It was all an accident."

Charlie shook his head. "That's right it was an accident. Similar to what happened to Bella- an accident."

Before Edward had the chance to react to Charlie's statement the slowly opened. Jasper walked into the room without saying a word. Edward looked up at him. "Hey."

Jasper stood with his hands in his pockets looked at Edward. He looked terrible. Jasper had bags under his eyes and looked exhausted. The time since the accident had seemed to be taking its toll on him as well. "Hey."

When nothing more was said between the three men, Charlie spoke up. "Jasper had a tough night."

"What happened?" Edward questioned.

Jasper shrugged his shoulders as he looked at his sister. "This situation was too much for Maria to handle and she called me last night and broke up with me."

Edward's eyes widened. "Your girlfriend of almost a year broke up with you because she can't handle your sister being in a coma?"

Nodding his head, Jasper answered Edward. "Pretty much, yea. In a nut shell that's what happened."

"I'm sorry Jazz."

"It's not your fault. I'm glad I didn't ask her to marry me like I wanted to."

Edward looked up at his brother in law before laughing. "You do realize Bella never liked Maria?"

"She told me several times that I could do better." He paused as he reflected their conversation a few weeks ago Leah. "Did she like anyone I dated?"

Edward laughed. "I don't think so no one was good enough for her big brother! You know what though, I think she was right."

Jasper chuckled. "Me too bro, me too."

The day continued with people in and out of the room to visit Bella. Alice, stopped by for a visit. She lectured Edward on eating properly and taking care of himself because once Bella wakes up he will have to take care of her. She also said her father and mother would be stopping by later.

Alice took a break from lecturing Edward and was telling her about a date she had and how terribly wrong it was going. The guy was a successful doctor, forty two and lived at home. She tried hard to make Edward laugh, it just wasn't doing the job. When Jasper excused himself to grab something to drink Alice asked if she could join him. Jasper had agreed. She might not have been able to make Edward laugh, however she did manage to cheer up Jasper. Edward was happy to catch a little break from his cousin. He loved her as if she were his sister, however he needed a break from her every now and again.

As the day rolled into evening, the guests let one by one. Carlisle reminded Edward that he was on call that evening and if he needed anything to have him paged. He also promised to check in on his son and daughter in law.

"Hey buddy, say bye to mommy. You'll see her tomorrow," Edward said as he lifted the baby from Bella's chest. He kissed him as he began to strap him into his car seat. "Be good for grandma, okay? I love you Seth. Mommy loves you too even though she can't say it right now. We are so happy you are with us," Edward continued as his son's eyes watched him. A smile appeared on the infant's face. "We love you buddy so much. We'll see you tomorrow." Edward stood up and handed the car seat to his mother. He kissed her check. "Thanks again mom, I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Not tomorrow morning. I have those meetings I can't get out of, unless it is a real emergency and if it is you call me. Even if it isn't and you need me, call me. I'll figure out something. Do you understand me young man?" Esme said as she wrapped one arm around her son.

Feeling like he was a child again, Edward smiled. "Yes mom, I understand. Who is going to watch Seth? Do you think he should stay the night with me?"

"No, we'll be fine. Your dad is going to watch him for a little bit after his shift and then Rose and Emmett are going to bring him here."

"Okay then. I'll see you tomorrow night. I love you mom," Edward said sounding defeated.

"Oh, my baby boy, I love you too. Hang in there, things are going to be okay."

"If you say so," Edward replied with doubt in his voice.

Esme looked at her son and smiled. "I have never lied to you before and I would never start now. Try and rest and have a goodnight, okay?"

"Of course, I'm getting pretty good at this," Edward said offering a half smile.

Esme walked over to Bella and kissed her cheek. "I love you too sweetheart. I can't wait to talk to you again. Rest up so you can wake up."

Edward walked his mother to the elevator. He strolled back with his hands in his pockets. He was getting ready for bed early that evening. He changed and brushed his teeth. He made sure to shave because he was growing a little stub. Bella hated when he had stubble on his chin.

After exiting the bathroom, Edward was making his chair into a bed. The nurses had offered to get him a cot, but he refused. With the reclining chair he felt he was closer to Bella. He set it up on the side of the bed that didn't house the IV stand. The monitors were all on the opposite side. Edward positioned the chair so the head of it was next to the head of Bella's bed. He stared at his wife for what was only a few minutes, although it seemed like hours to him. Over the last month he thought about waking up at their house in their bed without her. It was too much for him to think about. The thought snapped him back into reality. He walked over to the door and shut off the overhead light. Lights from the machines still glowed as well as the soft night that was above Bella's head. The room couldn't be completely dark since the nurses had to come in and check on her vitals.

It only took Edward a few seconds to get comfortable. He was closing his eyes when he heard it. It was a sound that sounded like a soft, quick moan. He sat up and looked at Bella. She looked as if she hadn't moved. He thought his mind was playing tricks on him.

A few moments later, he heard the moaning again and this time it lasted longer. He looked at Bella. Again she looked like she had been unmoved. Edward went to lay back down when he heard the sound again. He stood up and walked towards the front door. He turned on the light and walked back. He was startled when he had reached his chair. He looked at his wife in the bed. Something was different about her. Her body was still very much still. Her purple markings from the crash were almost gone. Her eyes were wide and brown and her- Edward stopped. Her eyes were wide and open. He choked back tears as his heart raced. One of the thing she hated about the coma was when her eyes opened and moved. He reached down with his hands and took hers in his. She gently squeezed back. The only thing he could manager to utter was one thing he had been longing to say since Bella was in the accident.

Looking at her wide open beautiful chocolate eyes, Edward fought back tears as he spoke. "Bella? Are you awake?"


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note:

Hello everyone! Thank you all so much for reading and thank you for leaving your thoughts. I love reading them. Everyone wants to murder Jessica. She will be back in a bit. She can't just disappear. The story has to be somewhat realistic, right?

Again, this chapter will deal with some medical stuff that I briefly read on a few different websites. I don't know much about head injuries. Just go with it-it's a work of fiction! Seriously though, I tried to make it as realistic as possible. On a side note I will say one thing, I was in a bad car accident almost two and a half years ago. A woman hit my car texting and driving and going 60 mph in a 30mph. I remember pulling over to the side of the road trying to get out of her way and I remember after the impact but I have no memory of the actual collision. I was told by multiple doctors that the brain will block painful or bad things from it. I kind of based some of Bella's experiences on that notion.

Okay-enough of my note. I hope you enjoy this chapter and can't wait to hear your thoughts!

Thanks again for reading, commenting and dming. I really really enjoy reading and responding to you all!

-Lisa

PS- It will probably be at least a week until I update. I will be away.

PPS- Rated MA for mature language.

* * *

Chapter Five

 _Edward reached over and held Bella's hand. She hadn't said a word since leaving the doctor's office. He drove slowly and cautiously. At the red light he looked at his wife and wanted to cry. His heart was broken in two. He brought his hand to her wet cheek. She looked away. She found it hard to even converse with her husband. It killed Edward that Bella felt like she was failing him. She wasn't. These things happen and there was no easy way to fix the situation._

 _When the light had changed color, Edward out both hands on the wheel again and drove. He hated what was happening in their lives right now. The most upsetting thing was the doctor offered no reason but ordered tests. The doctor's only explanation was "sometimes things like this happen and we don't know why." It wasn't enough for him. It wasn't enough to mend Bella's broken heart. They were supposed to receive happy news from the doctor. He was going to tell them the sex of their baby. They had made post appointment plans to walk around Babies R Us and then head to lunch._

 _After hearing the news of Bella's fourth miscarriage in three years, Edward made the somber ride back to their home. He hated what this did to his wife. He hated that she blamed herself when it wasn't her fault. She followed the rules and took care of herself. She listened to the doctor and read every book imaginable on being pregnant. She took the vitamins and stayed away from any kind of medications. It didn't seem to matter. Their dreams were squashed yet again. What hurt more than the little life the created was loss, was his Bella feeling and acting so lost._

 _As he pulled into their driveway, Edward sighed. He parked the car but had no intention of getting out. He looked at Bella. She hadn't moved since she turned her head at the red light. Her big chocolate eyes were watery but vacant. He didn't think she'd get through the last miscarriage without professional help and now he was worried about her even more._

" _Bella? Honey?" Edward called out as he reached for her hand._

 _Still remaining silent, Bella took her hand away._

" _Please say something to me sweetheart. I need to hear your voice. What are you thinking about?" Edward pleaded as he played with the end of her hair._

 _Finally, Bella turned her head. She wiped her tears with the sleeves of her shirt. "What am I thinking? Are you really going to ask me that?"_

" _Well, you're not talking, and I think we need to talk about this. I'm worried about you Bells. I really am," Edward expressed._

 _Bella shook her head as she put her hands to her face. "Talk about it? Talk about? Are fucking kidding me Edward? Talk about?" Bella paused as she removed her hands from her face. "Fine, lets fucking talk about how incompetent I am. We have made four babies Edward, four and not one of them grew in me. They all died, and it was my fault."_

" _No, no it isn't your fault. You heard the doctor-"_

" _Sometimes these things just happen and there is no reason or explanation. You shouldn't get discouraged thought," Bella mocked the doctor's response. "Screw the doctor. It's clear Edward, I cannot have children. I wasn't meant to have them. I don't know what I did to piss off the universe but being parents isn't in the cards for us and I'm angry and sad as hell about it. Everyone around us is having babies. Vicky and James just had their first. Oh, and do you remember reading in the paper that Riley and Bree had their second? I'm sure Emmett and Rose will start having them now they are married." Bella stopped and took a breath before breaking down again. "We are never going to have a baby Edward and it kills me. It kills me that I can't give you a child."_

 _Edward shook his head as he reached for his wife. "Shhhh, calm down honey. It's all right. I hate seeing you like this."_

" _Aren't you pissed? Don't you want to scream and yell about this? Doesn't it infuriate you?" Bella paused. When Edward didn't respond to her questions, she hiccuped a breath. "You want to leave me, don't you?"_

 _Shocked, Edward looked at Bella. "What are you talking about?"_

" _I can't give you a family, I can't give you a baby and you want to leave me," Bella cried._

" _Bella, no-" Edward began but Bella interrupted._

" _I'm sure you and Jess would make beautiful children and you know here all ready and god knows she likes you so there's that."_

" _Honey you are being ridiculous. I don't want to be with anyone but you," Edward once again began to tell his wife but she interrupted. He cringed at the idea of being with Jessica.  
_

 _Bella began to hysterically cry again. "You don't want to be with me because I can't have children." Bella sobbed. She continued before Edward had the chance to interrupt her. "I don't blame you really. You should be with someone who can give you a family. You've always wanted kids. Do you remember we used to talk about it in school? You'd be an incredible father and I shouldn't stop you from having that experience."_

" _Bella-" Edward tried to interfere._

 _A sad smile appeared on Bella's face. "Do you remember you said you didn't care what we had? If it was a boy you would teach him how to throw a ball and play football? If it was a girl you would teach her to throw too but you wouldn't even talk to her about boys until she was twenty-nine? You said you'd love a boy, but you also wouldn't mind a little princess?" Bella sniffled. "I'm so sorry Edward that I can't give you that little league player or a pretty princess. I'm so sorry."_

 _Edward reached across and pulled Bella into him as closely as he could. He held her as she sobbed into his shoulder. He balled along with her. It hurt him badly to know there was nothing else he could do for his wife. When her cries were finally lowered, Edward held her head in his hands. He kissed her mouth gently. His nose touched hers. When she looked up at him with wet eyes, he finally spoke. "Isabella, calm down baby. I hate seeing you like this. I'm never leaving you, never. There is no one else for me, just you, Shhhh," he said trying to sooth her. "Bella, we don't know if you can't have children for certain."_

" _Well it doesn't sound like we can, does it?" She cried. "It feels like I can't!"_

" _We don't know that. We need to wait for the doctor to get the test results. We are family Bella. You and I are our own family. I love you and I cannot imagine a world that you aren't part of. We will have a baby. We will have children."_

" _But,-"Bella tried to speak._

" _But nothing. We will have children. We could get a surrogate."_

 _Bella shook her head. "No! She would have a bond with our child I could never understand and be part of. No way. What would happen if she didn't want to give the baby up then? We'd be heartbroken."_

 _Edward nodded his head. He didn't agree with Bella however this wasn't the time to discuss logic with her. "We could always adopt." He and Bella had talked about the possibility of adoption one day._

" _Are you kidding me? That's worse than a surrogate! No way." Bella said before she broke down in tears again. "All I want to do is love my husband. I want my husband and I to create a baby out of our love and I can't even manage to do that right. I feel like such a failure. I feel like my body is betraying me in the worse possible way. I feel like I am less of a wife, less of a woman because of it."_

 _Beginning to cry again, Edward held his wife once more. He took her face in his hands again. "Look at me, please? Listen to me? We don't have to talk about this anymore right now. We don't have to figure this out right now. Do you remember on our wedding day we took vows for better or for worse? Do you remember when I said I would love you forever? I'm not going back on that. We will figure this out, but right now my priority is you. I need to take care of you. I'm calling out of work for the rest of the week."_

" _You can't do that. Edward, it's Monday morning at eleven thirty. You can't take time off. You have that big case coming up." Bella began to tell him._

" _It doesn't matter. Alice has been helping me with the case. She can take it over and she will understand that my job right now is to take care of you. I have to be there for you. I need to be here for you. I love you and I will always be here for you, for forever. I'm not breaking my vow."_

* * *

Edward ran his hand through his hair. He took a deep breath before standing up. He shook his head and brought his fist to the wall and hit it. "Fuck!"

"Edward!" Carlisle shouted at him. "You must calm down."

Edward looked at his father with widened eyes. "Did you really just tell me to calm down? How the hell can you say that? My wife who has been in a coma for over five weeks wakes up, which I am grateful for. God I am so grateful for this I can't even express or put into words. She's healthy and is going to make a full recovery both mentally and physically. You said there is no lasting brain damage and after a little physical therapy she will be fine. She has been receiving some while she has been here.

"But then she wakes up, she looks at me with these eyes I've been longing to see. I start crying because I am so god damn happy. My wife is awake, and she is back. She speaks to me in the kindest sweetest voice I have ever heard and missed so much. She then mistakes me for a doctor. A doctor dad. She has no fucking clue who the hell I am dad. She mumbled that she didn't understand why her doctor was crying. I tried to explain it to her but doesn't have a clue and she doesn't want me. She asked me to give her space for now. My whole reason for existing doesn't know who the hell I am, and you are asking me to calm the hell dawn? I can't calm the hell down! I'm angry as hell and upset."

"Edward I know this is hard for you-" Carlisle began before Edward interrupted him.

"You're right this fucking hard! And you have no clue how this is. You can go home to mom and have memories of each other and discuss everything. She knows who you are dad. You both remember things. Bella doesn't know who the hell I am!"

"Stop with the language right now!" Carlisle scolded his son. "Look, I know you are heartbroken Edward. I am too. She's like a daughter to me and I wish there was something more I could do; however, this isn't overly uncommon." Carlisle began to think of a way to explain what was going on without using confusing medical terms. "She's confused Edward. Her brain is recovering from a dramatic experience. It is going to take her a little while."

"Oh my god," Edward said out loud. "Dad, if she doesn't know who I am then she doesn't know about Seth or anyone else. She doesn't know how much she wanted him and how much she sacrificed for him."

"We don't know that. Sometimes the brain works in a way that it blocks out certain subjects or thoughts or people. There is no explanation sometimes. Sometimes it is recovered, however sometimes it isn't. There is no way of knowing which it is going to be for Bella. Once she is up for it, we will run tests. I am on top of this Edward. I promise you." Carlisle paused to take a breath before he continued. "I did call Charlie and Jasper. They should be here shortly."

Now that Edward felt he was calming down, he took a breath and looked at his father. "Did you tell them about the memory loss?"

Shaking his head, Carlisle simply answer. "Yes,"

Edward nodded and looked around his father's office. He didn't know what he should do. "What can I do for her now? I'll do anything for her."

"Unfortunately, not a whole lot. You need to be patient with her. Getting her memory back may happen in a short period of time, it might be longer, or it might never happen. You have to take that into perspective."

Nodding, Edward looked away from his father and began to cry. He couldn't bear the thought of his wife not knowing who he was or his son. Carlisle took the time to wrap his arms around his son and let him cry.

"Dad, I love her so much. I want her to remember. I want her to know how much I love her."

Carlisle took a deep breath. He hated to relay news of uncertainty to any of his patients but having this case hit home, he hated having to experience this with his own immediate family. "I know you do son. Just please give this time and let it work itself help. I'm doing my best from my stand point, but this is going to be along ride. I'm contacting all the best specialists that I know. I have even contacted colleagues of colleagues at Harvard, John Hopkins and Northwestern. There are people all over this country trying to help us Edward."

Edward nodded as he let go of his father. He wiped his eyes and looked up at him. "Can I see her still?"

"She hasn't requested no visitors. It might be a good thing. I myself haven't seen her yet but I plan to soon. She's third in line. I have seen one patient all ready and I have another patient a head of her but then I'm giving her my undivided attention. Do you want me to go with you to see her?"

Shaking his head Edward looked at his father. "No, I want to do this on my own."

The walk from Carlisle's office to Bella's room was short in distance but seemed miles in length. Once standing in front of the door, Edward knocked.

"Come in," he faintly heard Bella call from her bed.

Edward slowly walked in. He sat in the chair farthest away from her bed.

"Hi," she spoke shyly and unsure of herself.

"Hi," Edward replied quietly.

The room was silent at first. Neither said a word. A pin could have heard dropping to the floor if there had been one. Both Bella and Edward just looked at each other with emotions. Bella nodded and then looked at Edward again. She began to speak. "So, we're married right?"

Edward nodded his head as he moved the chair closer. "Yes we are. You are wearing your wedding ring, see?" Edward pointed to her ring finger on her left hand. A simple platinum band sat on it. When she was in her last few weeks of pregnancy with Seth, she swelled. She had to take off her engagement ring. Her wedding band fit fine but not her engagement ring. After Seth was born and they were home, she didn't put it back on in fear that she would scratch him with it.

Looking down at her hand, Bella began to play with her ring. She was quiet for a moment before she began to ask questions. "How long have we been married for?"

"Six years. We married on August tenth. You wore such a gorgeous gown. You looked like a beautiful angel. You were twenty-three and I was twenty-four. You are twenty nine as of September and I turned thirty in June. You love to tease me about being an older man."

Bella smiled bashfully. "We've really been married for six years?"

"Yes, but we've been together much longer than that. We've been dating officially since high school. You were fourteen and I was fifteen. We danced to 'I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You' after I asked you to be my girlfriend. Before that you moved to the tiny town we used to live in, called Forks. You were six and I feel in love with you right then. Your hair was in pigtails. The very first day I met you I noticed your freckle right there," Edward explained as he pointed to the circle that she loathed so much. "I knew when you went back to my house to hear some song I made up on the piano we were destined for a life of togetherness."

Bella looked amazed yet sad. "Wow, we have been together for a long time."

Edward nodded with a smile. "We have been but, there is no one else out in there who I would want to spend my time with. We broke up when we graduated high school and went to schools on different coasts. It worked until December. We decided right before Christmas we couldn't be apart anymore and he haven't been apart since then."

Bella nodded as she soaked up the words Edward was telling her. He seemed caring and loving how a husband should be, or at least how she thought she remembered a husband should be. "So how did I get here? Where is here and how long have I been here?"

"Well," Edward said now sitting on the edge of the bed. "We're in Seattle Washington. We live here now. We have since we were in college." He stopped to try and formulate his thoughts. "Your car was hit by a truck over five weeks ago."

"Five weeks? I've been here for five week?" Bella asked up set.

"Yes."

Bella looked at the machines that she was attached to and felt the oxygen tube in her nose. She looked at the IV fluids going into her skin. She suddenly felt afraid. "Will I be okay?"

Looking into Bella's eyes, Edward was honest with his wife. "Well, Carlisle says you are healthy despite everything you have been through. You have had physical therapy while you have been here. A therapist has been in moving your legs and arms. Your brain is pretty strong as are the organs in your body. None of them went into failure or anything like that. He says you are healthy." Edward paused to deliver the most difficult part of their reality. Tears escaped his eyes as he held Bella's hand. "He-he-he doesn't know when or if you will regain your memory."

Bella absorbed what Edward was telling her. She was afraid. She was afraid she would never regain a sense of her old self. She couldn't recall things like the dates Edward had mentioned or member of her family or even a friend's name. She had no idea what year it was let alone the day of the week. After absorbing the information, she spoke again. "Who is this Dr. Carlisle? Is he any good and if he is why do people believe he is that good? Should I get a second opinion?"

A half smile appeared on Edward's face. "He's the head of this hospital. He had left several years ago and ran a smaller hospital in Forks actually. He moved there to raise his sons with his wife. When they went to college the hospital begged him to come back, which he did." Edward paused before he continued. "He has won many awards at state and national levels. His bed side manor and temperate are some reasons why he is so good. He's a very compassionate man and he is amazing at what he does. He treats every patient and their families like they are his family. Speaking of family, he probably shouldn't be treating you and I'm sure there are rules against it but he doesn't care."

Stumped Bella asked Edward, "why is it against the rules to treat me? Do we not have insurance?"

"It's nothing like that. Carlisle is my father Bella," Edward told her.

She paused and thought for a moment before she questioned Edward. "My doctor is my father-in-law?"

Laughing, Edward nodded his head. "Yes."

Bella sighed as she placed her head in her hands. She peeked from behind them and looked at Edward. Tears were threatening to escape from her eyes. She was overwhelmed and scared. Nothing made sense to her. She had a husband and a father-in-law. She didn't know what to think. Bella thought she had more family but then doubted herself. How could she really know? She wasn't too sure of anything. A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. "Come in."

Quickly, Charlie and Jasper rushed into the room. They both were overwhelmed with emotion. They both sighed with relief when they saw Bella sitting up and awake. Edward stood back so they could spend time with her. No one spoke at first. Emotion made it too hard to think straight.

Before Charlie or Jasper said a word, Bella looked at them both. With tears escaping from her eyes, she swallowed and whispered. "Daddy? Jasper?"


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note:

Hi all, long time no see. I apologize for the ridiculous wait for the next chapter. Honestly I didn't mean to leave such a cliff hanger. I most definitely had a case of the winter blues. In addition, I am having issues with my hand/arm. I am going back to PT soon. Also, I have been dealing with some family issues stuff that involve my brother and the courts and restraining orders. By the time it came to writing I just didn't have it in me. I'm going to try to update in a more timely fashion.

I still have a story with Bella and Carlisle I want to rewrite and edit. Please just bear with me.

Enough of this, please enjoy the next chapter and see you soon (hopefully!).

Thanks for understanding-

Lisa

Chapter Six

 _Bella laid on the couch. She wore Edward's sweatshirt and covered up with a blanket. The day went on and was so long. It was the first one she was by herself since she lost the second baby. Edward had promised to be home by lunch. At ten thirty that morning, Jessica called and said Edward's schedule was filled to the brim since he took an unexpected week off due to personal circumstances. She sent her best wishes and hoped they were okay. She said she would lend an ear if Bella needed to talk. Listening to Jessica pretending to be sympathetic added to Bella's already melancholy mood. She just wanted her husband home with her, however, she understood he had to go back to work. Jessica promised his last meeting was at three and he'd probably be home for dinner._

 _As she laid in the dark waiting for her husband, the clock on the cable box read 9:15pm. She sighed as she closed her eyes and cried. She didn't know what was happening in her marriage. Was it falling apart because of her? Although it was just a week ago their little girl's heart beat went unheard at the twenty-week ultrasound, she felt so empty and alone. Edward was with her at checkup. They had found out three weeks before that they were expecting a girl. Having miscarried before and having high blood pressure, her doctor felt she was high risk and wanted to check in with her at least once a month. There was no warning of the miscarriage. Bella craved pickled beets and only freshly squeezed orange juice. Her pants here starting to get snug on her tiny frame. The basic symptom of a miscarriage, bleeding hadn't been there like it had been with their first lost child. When the tech went to listen to the heart beat there was silence. Bella could hardly believe it was seven days ago._

 _At ten-thirty the front door opened. Edward set his keys in the bowl in the hallway. He hoped Bella was fast asleep. When he turned the corner, he saw her silhouette on the couch. He took off his shoes and walked over. He kissed her head before lifting her. He held her closely and protectively. He wished he could have been home with her. She was having a difficult time. He worried when she didn't return her texts and was thankful that Jessica called to check in on her and tell her he was going to be late._

 _As he climbed the last step, Bella stirred. Edward carefully placed her on their bed and tucked her in. He went into the bathroom and got himself ready for bed. After he finished in the bathroom, he saw Bella who appeared to still be sleeping. He climbed into bed and shut off the light. He wasn't tired. He had so many things running through his head. The new clients he met today and their old client who demanded Edward took their accident case. That was why he was late. He had to meet them about an hour away. Their son remained in the hospital from a horrible tractor trailer accident. As Edward mentally made a mental note about taking care of things around the house, he heard._

 _"You were late tonight," Bella whispered._

 _Edward turned over and faced his wife. "I'm sorry about that. It's been a long day." He paused as he tried to pull her close. She pushed away._

 _"It was so kind of Jessica to call to say you'd be home around dinner time," Bella mocked._

 _Edward was confused. "She did call to tell you I was going to be late. I also texted you, but you didn't answer back."_

 _"She said your last appointment was around three and you'd be home for dinner. I don't even know what time it is Edward. It's late," Bella scolded him._

 _Edward began to explain. "I think you misunderstood her. I had to meet The Johnsons at five thirty in Castle Rock. Their son was driving home from college and was hit by a tractor trailer. The driver shouldn't have been driving as he had been driving for the maximum amount of time allowed by law, but he had pressure from his company to get something delivered by a certain time. It's a mess. Then there was an accident on the highway on the way home. I called you. It went straight to voicemail, so I thought maybe you turned off the phone."_

 _Bella was quiet. She changed the subject. "I have to go back to work on Friday. I was expecting more time, but they need me back. I'm not ready. I guess it's better than being here lonely."_

 _That comment was a direct blow to Edward. Bella begged him to stay home but he refused. He had to get back into work. His uncle seemed impatient since this was their second miscarriage. "Bella, you know I would have rather have been here than anywhere else."_

 _"Are you carrying on with Jessica?"_

 _Flabbergasted, Edward sat up and turned on the light. This wasn't a new topic of conversation. Whenever Edward worked late, the conversation somehow circled back to this. For whatever reason Bella wasn't confident when it came to Jessica. "No Bella. I'm not interested in Jess like that. I never have been and never will be. She isn't you. You have carried two of my children. I love you."_

 _Bella sighed. "You worked late your first day back. Why didn't Alice take the case?'_

 _"Because the Johnsons asked for me specifically. I helped them after Mr. Johnson's mother fell at the nursing home. They said they could trust me and liked me. I couldn't say no. I had to be there," Edward explained. "How were you today?"_

 _She shrugged her shoulders and finally rolled over. "I was fine. I think I am coming to terms that we aren't meant to be parents. I don't think I can do this again. Emotionally. Less than two weeks ago she was growing in me Edward and now she's gone. This is the second time this has happened. I can't go through it again. It hurts too much."_

 _Edward reached for his wife and held her sobbing body in his arms. When they had the first miscarriage Bella was a mess but was able to come out of it quickly. This time she was sad and depressed. It had been only a week, but she was heartbroken. Edward was as well. He too was nervous to try for a child in the future. If Bella couldn't carry a child to term it would crush her._

 _"I don't want us to become one of those couples who tip toes around each other. I want us to be able to be honest. I hate you working these late nights. I really do. I know it's the first one in a while, but I know there are more to come," Bella honestly told her husband._

 _Bella finally allowed Edward to pull her into his arms. "Bells, you work late too, and you have your nights when you go out with the girls. It's not often but you still go. You still have to work late when I'm here. It's the nature of our jobs." Edward paused before he continued. "I think when you are ready we should go away for a weekend. A long one. Just you and me and we need to recharge and reconnect. Also, I don't think we will ever be one of those couples who tip toe around each other because we are always honest with each other and always communicate with each other."_

 _Taking a deep breath, Bella knew her husband was right. "I know but this feels awkward. I hate it."_

 _"It will but as soon as we are back in a routine we'll get back to where we were. We always do. Hey," Edward said as he turned to face her. He kissed her lips softly. "Three thousand miles couldn't keep us apart when we were in college. We'll get over this. We are still mourning her. We will recover and be okay. You'll see. We'll look back on this time and we will be able to say we made it through with battle scares and all. This is as bad as it gets for us Bells."  
_

* * *

Edward shook his head. To say he was shocked was an understatement. "Wait a minute! You know them?"

Bella was startled by Edward's tone. She spoke back with slight anger in her tone. "Of course, I'd know my own father and brother."

Both Charlie and Jasper exchanged looks with Edward and Bella. Charlie spoke up first. He approached her bed and held her hand. "Honey, what is going on?"

Sitting up straight in the bed, Bella began to speak in a questioning tone. "Apparently my husband says I was in an accident five weeks ago, but I don't remember any of that. Dad, is this for real? I mean am I really married? Was I in a car accident? My head hurts and I feel very foggy and I don't remember anything."

Charlie looked at Edward's expression. Anger, confusion and sadness could be read on his face. He looked like a ghost who was going to break down and cry. Charlie swallowed as he began to answer his daughter's question. "Yes honey, you were in a car accident and yes you are married. Edward was telling you the truth." Charlie paused before he too started crying. He brought a hand up to his daughter's face and rubbed her chin with his thumb. He did the same thing when she fell as a child or cried as a teenager. "We were all worried that you wouldn't wake up Bells. You're in Seattle and Jasper and I have been staying at your house. Edward has been staying with you here at the hospital. Se-"

"Wait! We are in Seattle and I'm really married?" Bella questioned. She couldn't believe it.

Charlie couldn't help but smile. "I gave you away myself honey. The wedding was beautiful or too big as you told me. You and Edward wanted something smaller. You two threatened to elope. Esme had a field day with that. I thought she was going to kill you both. She probably would have disowned you both if you did that!"

Confused, Bella looked at her father. "Esme? Is she my mom?" Before anyone in the room could reply, Bella looked at Jasper. "I thought mom died?"

"She's Edward's mom," Jasper explained.

Stepping up, Edward looked at Bella. He spoke calmly and softly. "She's my mom. She has kind of taken you under her wing and loved you ever since you moved next door to us when we were children. She's kind of been like your second mom."

Bella raised an eye brow. She looked at Edward. "She's married to my doctor?"

Edward nodded. "Yes she and Carlisle have been married for thirty-eight years."

Bella went back and looked at her father. "And Sue? What happened to her?"

"Nothing happened to Sue," Jasper interjected. "She's our step mother. She and dad got married when you were six. It was before we moved to Forks. Sue's been visiting you with Emily. Right now they are helping cook food for all of us. You'll see them soon. They have both been worried about you."

Fumbling with her blanket a little bit, Bella looked down as she asked, "Who is Emily?"

Taken back, Jasper held his little sister's hand. He wasn't prepared for her memory to be in pieces . "Emily is our sister, half sister I guess, but we don't look at her like that. Sue had her a few years after she and dad were married."

"Dad you are too old to have a baby. How old is she?"

"Twenty two," Charlie answered.

"Oh," Bella sad looking away. She felt like she was a prisoner in her own body. She didn't know what was happening around her and she hated it. She looked up as she saw Edward storm out of the room. He looked like he was going to be sick. Bella looked up with concern in her eyes. "Was it something I said?"

"No honey, don't worry about it. Edward has just been a little stressed. I'm sure he'll come back," Charlie explained. He held Bella's hand and offered a kind smile.

Letting frustration take her over, Bella finally allowed herself the opportunity to cry. She placed her head in her hands and began to sob. It was only a few seconds later when the door open.

"Hey! You're awake! It's great to have you back with us in the land of the living!" Emmett said as he let go of Rose's hand and went to hug Bella. "As soon as dad told us you were awake we rushed in here! You scared everyone Bells!"

"You're our neighbor, right? You and Jasper are friends." Bella asked cautiously as she looked from Emmett to Jasper. "Why are you here?"

"Wow! What kind of shit do they have you on? I might need some of that the next time Rosie and I get into an argument." When Emmett saw no change in expression on Bella's face he looked around. "Neighbor? What's with the not so funny? What's all of this?" Emmett asked pointing to Bella.

Jasper took a deep breath and began to speak. "Bella just woke up a little while ago. We haven't talked to your dad yet, but it seems that she doesn't recall a lot of things. Her memory seems choppy, at best. She remembers somethings but not other things like Edward and your family apparently."

Emmett shook his head. He was unsure of what to say. The woman lying in the bed in front of him had always been like a sister to him. He always had felt protective of her. "For real Jazz?" Emmett waited for Jasper to confirm before he shook his head. "Oh shit.i mean shoot. I mean I'm sorry. I'm sorry Bells. I-I had no idea. I thought you were just being silly."

Again Bella just shrugged her shoulders. "No silliness here. Nothing to be sorry about really." She paused to wipe the fresh set of tears that had escaped her eyes. "Don't you have a brother? Younger I think. Anthony is his name, right?"

In a hushed tone, Emmett answered. "No, that's his middle name. My brother's name is Edward."

"Edward? Isn't that my husband's name?" Bella asked confused as she looked at Charlie and Jasper.

"Yes," was the only reply Emmett could give. He had no how idea where his brother was or how he was feeling with this development in Bella. He wanted to talk to him.

"Bella, Emmett is Edward's brother. His parents are Esme and Carlisle."

Offering a faint smile, Bella looked up. "What a small world, right?" She changed her focus on the blond woman standing in front of her. She shook her head and spoke with a small smile on her face. "Hi, I'm Bella, which you probably already knew."

Rose was taken back. She fought to keep he mouth from dragging on the floor. Not only was Bella one of her best friends, but she was her cousin. Rose reflected on the memories of their childhood. She also thought about how beautiful Bella looked when she was her matron of honor two summers ago when she married Emmett. It was because of her and Edward Rose got together with Emmett. She swallowed but put on a smile as she looked at Bella. "I'm Rose. Emmett is my husband and you, Jasper and I are cousins. My mom was Elizabeth, your dad's sister."

"Right, I'm sorry." Bella said sadly. She turned her focus to her baby in the carrier. He was awake and just smiling. "Your baby is adorable. He is a perfect looking baby. How old is he?"

Emmett and Rose exchanged looks. They were in shock. Rose stepped back and stood with Jasper. They held hands. Jasper turned his head on Rose's shoulder and tried not to cry. Rose was a tough woman and tried not to cry. She then looked at her Uncle Charlie who was also lost for words. She held his hand too. Emmett finally spoke up. "He actually isn't ours Bells. He's yours."

"What? I have a baby?" Bella questioned feeling shocked. "I'm married and have a child?

Emmett nodded. "Yes, he's a boy. This is Seth." Emmett set the carrier down on the chair and unbuckled the infant from his seat. Seth was smiling, and his eyes met his mother's as his uncle began talking. "He is five months old. He is doing extremely well eating his food. My mom has been making sure of that. He loves bananas. Would you like to hold him?"

Bella nodded. She was speechless as Emmett handed the infant to his mother. Immediately, Seth found comfort in Bella. He rested his head in the crock of her neck. He laid there and seemed perfectly content. "He's really mine?" Bella asked through the tears.

Emmett nodded as he smiled. "Yes. You and Edward waited a long time for him. You went through a lot to have him. You really wanted him."

"And who wouldn't? Look how adorable he is. He's so small," Bella said finally with a true smile on her face.

"He's a lot bigger compared to when he was born. You delivered him a little on the early side, but he is healthy," Emmett explained.

Tears once again formed. "He's really mine? I mean, I'm a mom?"

Emmett couldn't help but smile. "Yea, yea he is. And Edward too. Well, Edward isn't a mother but you two are this little guy's parents. You are the greatest mom Bella. My mom has been taking care of him for the most part while Edward stayed here with you. Rose and I have been helping mom as well."

"What's his name again?" Bella whispered. She felt ridiculous that she couldn't remember her own son's name.

"It's Seth. You named him after your baby brother who died," Emmett added.

Bella regained the confused expression. "I had a brother who died?"

Charlie cleared his throat and continued. "Yes. Sue had a baby after Emily. You were twelve. He died in the delivery room. His name would have been Seth."

"It was Edward's idea to name him after the baby," Emmett added.

Bella took Seth from her neck and stared at him. She burst into tears again. Jasper let go of Rose's hand and walked to the side of Bella's bed. He began to rub her back slowly. "Bella, I know this is hard on you. I can't imagine what you are feeling but we will get through this somehow. I promise. You will be all right. We will move pass this."

"I hate not knowing anything about anything! I hate this confused feeling," Bella explained as she held her sleeping son close.

Charlie squeezed Bella's shoulders. He too had tears in his eyes. "I know honey. I know."

Before Bella could say another word, the doors opened. In walked a doctor. Bella assumed this was her father in law.

"Hi Bella, how are you doing?" He asked with a bright smile.

"Hi -what do I call you? Edward mentioned we're married-I mean Edward and I are married. You and I aren't married. Edward called you by your first name. I know you're Edward's dad. Edward told me but- and it's just, I don't really know what to call you. I don't remember."

Carlisle offered a comforting smile. He rubbed his sleeping grandson's back as he began to speak. "It's all right Bella, I know what you mean. You call me dad."

Bella nodded sternly and looked at the doctor. "Okay dad, what's going on with me?"

"Well your vitals are good, excellent if I say so myself. Physically you are in incredible shape for everything you have gone through. Your body healed nicely. I think the physical therapy helped you a lot. I'm glad we did it. Maybe later tonight or tomorrow we can get you up and walk a little bit."

"Right, I'm in excellent shape if you ignore that I have no idea what is going on and my memory is shot, and I don't recognize my family," Bella sarcastically added.

"I wouldn't say that. You remembered your dad and brother from what I hear."

"She kind of remembered me too. She remembered me as her neighbor. She also remembered that I had a brother. She thought his name was Anthony and not Edward."

"Really?" Carlisle asked. He watched as his older son nodded his head. "That's something." He didn't know what to make of that piece of information. He paused again as Bella situated the baby in her arms. Carlisle began to run Seth's back again. "He's precious, isn't he?"

"He is." Bella paused before looking up at Carlisle. "Do I like kids? I mean am I good mother? Am I doing it right? Was I doing it right before the accident?"

Rose stood in front of Bella's be and spoke before anyone else had the chance to. She knew that this was just explained to Bella, but she wanted to reiterate it. "You are the best Bella. You and Edward had a hard time having a baby. You had a few miscarriages and you just about gave up becoming a mother. When you found out you were going to have Seth you quit your job to rest. You did everything by the book during your pregnancy. You measured everything and never indulged." Rose paused as she reflected on Bella being pregnant and laughed. "It actually drove Edward a little batty that you wouldn't eat junk food occasionally or eat the stereotypical foods that women crave when they are pregnant. You ate so many strawberries and watermelon. If you indulged in anything you would make a frozen yogurt made it out of bananas and was convinced it tasted like the real thing. It really didn't! You went through the pain of natural childbirth because you didn't want any drugs in your system to enter his. When you went home Seth slept with you because you were afraid you wouldn't hear him cry. You breast fed him because that was what is best for him. Edward was a huge help too. He took time off from work and stayed home with you for almost two months."

"Wow," was all that Bella could manage to say. "How did Edward get so much time off? That seems like a long time."

Carlisle chuckled. "My brother was his boss. It can happen when you are working for one of the most sought-after law firms in all of Seattle."

"Who aren't we related to?" Bella asked as the room chuckled.

Quietly, Edward slipped into the room. He walked with his hands in his pockets and stood by his father. His eyes were fixated on Bella holding their sleeping son. Carlisle patted Edward's back. All Edward wanted at that moment was to be alone with his wife. He wanted to hold her hand and tell her things were going to be okay.

Startled by Edward standing at her side, Bella smiled shyly at him.

Carlisle cleared his throat and looked around. "Bella seems to have had enough excitement for right now. Visiting hours are almost over, plus I think she should rest some."

With that everyone said their goodbyes. Bella kissed her son's head before handing him off to Edward, who did the same thing before placing him in the car seat and buckling him up. Everyone made the promise of coming back later to check on her.

"I'm just going to walk them out; I'll be back in a little bit, okay?" Edward asked as he kissed Bella's head.

"O-okay," Bella replied.

Bella's mind went into a tail spin. She didn't know half of the people in that room who came to visit her. She couldn't get over that she was a mother. Overwhelmed didn't even start to explain how she felt. On the plus side, the people she couldn't identify seemed to be nice and caring. She sipped her water and leaned back on her pillows. Nothing made sense to her.

As promised a few moments later, Edward walked back into the room. Bella looked to be sleeping. That gave Edward time to gather his pajamas and get ready for bed. He came out and began making the chair up as if it were his bed. Bella looked over at him and watched him before saying a word.

"So that is my-our family?" She finally asked softly.

Edward nodded. "Yes. Sometimes they are all a little crazy and a lot to take in, but they are ours. They are good people. They love us, and we love them. Speaking of family, my mom called. She was stuck in traffic in a meeting and couldn't make it before visiting hours ended. She did tell me to tell you that she loves you. She is happy you are awake. She will be here some time tomorrow to see you."

"Thanks. That's sweet. I guess I'll have a room full of people again tomorrow. I think it's good to know that so many people care. I just wish I knew who they were." She paused as she watched Edward pull the chair next to the bed. She looked at him curiously. "So, are you going home tonight too?"

Edward was shocked. He had been at Bella's side every day for the last five weeks. He never left the hospital. "I was planning on staying here, with you. This is where I've been since you were admitted. There isn't anywhere else I would want to be." Edward paused. He struggled to ask the next question. "Do-do you want me to go?"

Tears erupted from Bella's eyes again. "I don't know. I don't know anything! We've known each other for so long yet I don't remember a single thing about you."

Edward stood up at her bedside. He tried rubbing her back to soothe her. He placed a lingering kiss on top of her head before looking into Bella's eyes. "You must be so scared now. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I hate that you are going through this. You are so brave Isabella, so incredibly brave and don't forget that. Don't forget that I love you with all my heart and everything I am. We're going to get through this together Isabella." He paused as he wiped her tears away from her eyes. He places a sweet kiss on her forehead. He was dreading the next question. It made a pit in his stomach. "Do you want me to stay?"

Bella fiddled with the blanket for a moment. She avoided eye contact with Edward. "I think it would be best if I had some time alone for a while so no, I don't want you to stay."

Moving slowly, Edward nodded. He didn't remove his hand from his wife's cheeks. He had already made up his mind that he wasn't leaving the hospital. He was going to crash in his father's office. He had promised Bella that he wouldn't leave the hospital without her and he intended on keeping that promise. "Okay. I understand. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Yes."

"Okay," he said not wanting to stop touching Bella. He finally did. He placed a kiss on her cheek. "Get some rest beautiful. I love you and will see you later." He began to walk out but stalled. He turned around and walked back to her. "One more thing. If you don't need this its fine but I want to leave my number for my cell for you. If you are scared or need anything call me. I have no problem being here for you. I'm just going to sleep in my dad's office. I'm not leaving you Bella. I'm always going to be here for you. Even if you never remember me again, I will be here for you."

Bella nodded. She watched as he wrote down his number and leave it on her tray near the phone. She felt sadness as she watched him gather his pillow and a blanket. He looked back one more time and then slid out of the room. From the other side of the door, Bella heard his muffled cries. She turned over and squeezed the blanket in her hand. She too had tears seep from her eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note:

Hi everyone, remember me? I'm sorry I've been MIA. It's been a while. I am still going through whatever my arm has dealt me (it still swells and I still loose feeling in it) however I have been sick since before the 4th of July. I will spare you the details but after four visits with my doctor, three trips to urgent care, three trips to the ER, two trips to the dermatologist and a soon trip to the rheumatoid doctor I think the infection I have is under control and I am on the road to recovery (even though I don't feel like it). I have been misdiagnosed with shingles, a staph infection, a strep infection, cellulitis(I'm pretty sure I might have had this one) and a few other things. I was even tested for syphilis! Needless to say it has been a miserable summer and I'm glad it's over (my treatment is not over however). This was a miserable experience and I hope none of you ever go through what I did.

Enough about me, I hope I still have some readers out there. Here is chapter seven. It's shorter than the last but it's up. I'm hoping to have the next chapter up in two weeks. It all depends on my joints and how well I can type.

Thanks!

Lisa

* * *

Chapter Seven

 _It was late but Bella was hungry. She snuck out of bed quietly not to wake up Edward. The clock on the microwave read two nineteen am. She opened the freezer and saw ice cream staring at her in the face. Edward was considerate enough to buy all natural, organic ice cream. She wanted it but was afraid that it wouldn't be good for the baby especially at this time of morning. She closed the freezer door and opened the refrigerator door. She grabbed the vanilla yogurt and the chopped berries from the container. Edward was kind enough to chop the strawberries for her._

 _Bella was doing everything by the book with this pregnancy. She and Edward had chatted, and it was decided amongst both that Bella would quit her job. She didn't want to take any chances that stress might take its toll on her and in return cause stress to that baby. She hated being home most days. Some days she'd meet Edward for lunch. Some days when he could he would come home and have lunch with her. Anything she wanted Edward made sure she got. He even refused some cases because they were lengthy._

 _He was babying her as much as she would let him. They had made it into the second trimester of this pregnancy. It was the farthest Bella had got with any pregnancy. They were almost into the third. They were excited however, Bella didn't want to jinx it. She still refused to paint the nursery or even talk about having a shower. As much as Edward wanted to head to the home improvement store to buy paint and look at infant furniture, he understood his wife's hesitation._

" _I rolled over and your side of the bed was cold. How long have you been down here?" Edward asked rubbing his eyes. He looked at Bella sitting at the counter eating her yogurt and berries._

 _Bella smiled at her husband. His hair was more unruly than usual. He looked like a child standing in front of her. "Not too long. Maybe ten minutes."_

" _Are you okay? Is there anything wrong?" He asked as he sat next to her at the table._

 _Leaning into him, Bella smiled. "I'm fine. Just hungry that's all. Also, your child thinks this is the time to be awake and do somersaults on my bladder. Feel," Bella said as she took Edward's hand and placed it on her stomach._

" _I never get sick of that. I don't care if it is two thirty in the morning. That amazes me every time." He paused and swept Bella's hair out of her face. He brought his lips to hers. "You are amazing. I love you."_

" _I love you too. Edward, I have a really good feeling about this pregnancy. I think he is going to stick. I don't think I will lose him."_

 _Edward looked at his wife with a raised brow and grinned. "Him? Did the doctor say anything to you?"_

" _No, it's a hunch. I told you don't want to know I'll be happy with either, but I feel in my gut it's a boy."_

" _Funny thing Mrs. Cullen, I too will be happy with either as long as they are healthy and you of course. I want a baby, but I can't lose you," Edward said seriously as he wrapped his arms around Bella._

" _Edward you aren't going to lose me. Face it, you are going to be stuck with me for life," Bella told him as she rested her head on his shoulder again._

 _Edward smiled as he stole a strawberry from Bella. "Then you are going to have to put up with me stealing strawberries and kisses," he told her as he kissed her again._

" _Thank you for obeying my wishes about a shower. Maybe we can do one after, but I don't want to ruin the chance. Call it superstition call it whatever but Edward, I'm as far as I have ever been in any of my pregnancies. I-"_

 _He stopped her before she got worked up and emotional. "Hey, shhhhh, don't apologize and I understand. Even Alice understands," Edward said referring to his cousin who loved to throw parties. She was going to throw a shower but understood where Bella was coming from. "I think with everything that we have been through, its fine. You do realize that our family will be spoiling him or her as soon as they get here? And Alice will be throwing a party one way or another, even if she has to wait until after the birth?"_

 _Laughing Bella nodded her head. "I do realize that! Jacob said the same thing when he was here earlier about Alice." Bella paused as she looked at Edward. A forced smile was on his face after mentioning Jacob. IT made Bella laugh harder. "Edward, you have to stop this."_

" _Stop what?"_

" _Whatever you think about Jacob. He isn't the bad guy."_

 _Edward shook his head as he stole another strawberry. "Quiet literally he's a good guy, he's a cop."_

" _Jealousy doesn't look good on you Edward."_

 _Edward stood up. "I'm sorry. You'd feel the same way if someone else was trying to get into my pants. I don't like the way he looks at you Bells."_

 _Sighing, Bella stood up to put her bowl in the dishwasher. This conversation had been ongoing since Bella and Edward started dating. It's true there was a part of her that belonged to Jacob. The part being a child and playing in the dirt but as they grew up, so did their relationship. Jacob was nothing but a good friend to Bella. He always had as far as she was concerned he always would be. "First of all, Jacob doesn't want in my pants." She paused as Edward rolled his eyes. "I'm serious and someone does want in your pants, but you keep her around."_

" _Who?" Edward asked dumbstruck._

" _Umm, hello, Jessica. She's wanted in your pants since we talked about sex in health class back in junior high."_

" _You sound ridiculous Bella," Edward tried to explain. "Jessica does okay at her job, she's sufficient."_

" _If she's only sufficient then why keep her. Why don't you let her go and hire someone who is confident?"_

" _I don't have time to fire and hire her right now. Plus she has no grounds to be fired. She hasn't done anything wrong."_

" _Except not give you my messages. If she doesn't give you my messages who knows what else she isn't telling you."_

 _Edward looked at his wife and blinked. There was no way he was going to argue about this at this time of morning. "Listen, why don't we go back to bed. You have fed our child and they seem to be calm, for now. We'll talk about this again."_

" _Oh you bet we will Edward Anthony but you are right, let's go to bed," Bella yawned as she took Edward's hand._

* * *

Edward stretched the next morning. He actually felt rested for the first time in weeks after sleeping on his father's office couch. He glanced at the clock and couldn't believe it was after ten am. He quickly went into the bathroom to changed and brushed his teeth. He feared that Bella was awake and by herself, which was the last thing he wanted even though last night she made it pretty clear that was what she wanted. He couldn't imagine how scared she must have felt. He wanted to make all her suffering go away. He still blamed himself for her circumstance even though everyone around him told him not to. He was unable to comfort and care for his wife properly and it hurt him.

As he turned the corner he paused outside Bella's door. He took a deep breath and was about to knock on the door. As he raised his hand to knock, he was greeted with the sound of laughter. He knocked anyway.

"Come in," Bella replied.

Edward slowly and cautiously opened the door. He was surprised to see his mother in the room with Bella. They both looked like they had shed some tears. Edward closed the door and walked towards his mother and wife. He sighed when he saw Bella sitting up in bed and feeding Seth.

"Good morning," Edward said to his mother as he kissed her cheek.

"Good morning honey. You look like you slept well last night. You look the best you have in a while," Esme smiled.

"I actually feel good." Edward paused and placed his hand on Bella's ankle and offered her a bashful grin. "And how did you sleep last night?"

"Really good actually. Your dad checked on me this morning and said I could probably go home in a few days," Bella told Edward as she burped the baby.

"That is wonderful! I'm so happy to hear that. I can't wait to get you back home," Edward beamed as he watched Bella with their son. He hoped that being in their home would help her regain her memory.

Esme interrupted their moment and looked at Edward. "Bella was just saying she had a craving for homemade lasagna."

Edward looked at his mother as if his eyes were going to leap out of their sockets. He then looked at Bella and smiled. "That was the first thing mom taught you how to make."

Feeling confused Bella nodded her head. "I think I remember that. We used to roll the noodles out by hand, right?"

Esme nodded. "That's right. We always did that until-"

Bella interrupted Esme by continuing the memory. "Until that one Christmas dad bought you the Kitchen Aid mixer with the pasta attachment."

Tears formed in Esme's eyes. Bella was remembering things from the past. She had already identified Esme when she walked through the door earlier that morning. "That's right sweetheart, that's right," Esme told her Bella as she kissed her cheek. "We never rolled pasta out again!"

Edward was lost for words for a few seconds. He reached down for Bella's hand and kissed it before looking at his mother. "That's good, right?"

"I think so."

"I remembered mom when she came in," Bella told Edward.

"As soon as I came in she called me mom and cried," Esme confirmed.

"What else do you remember?" Edward inquired.

Bella sat up and took a breath. She placed the empty bottle on her tray and sat Seth up in between her legs. "Well, I remember growing up I would talk to mom about boys and she took me shopping with Alice."

"And who is Alice?" Edward quizzed her.

"She's your cousin."

Edward couldn't help but contain his excitement. "That's right baby, that's right!"

Bella smiled as she continued. "I remember even though I had Sue and she was always there for me, mom was the one to talk to me about girl things." Bella paused and looked bashful as she continued. "I remember I was thirteen and I got my period for the first time and I had no idea what to do. Dad and Sue weren't home because they were at Emily's school. I called mom as soon as I got it. She hugged me and took me to Target. She explained all of the differences between the tampon and pads. We bought both. She also bought me my first razor because my legs and under my arms were starting to get a little hairy."

Edward and Esme exchanged looks. They were shocked with the detail that Bella remembered. Esme looked at Edward. "That is how it happened."

"Do-do you, I mean do you remember anything else? Maybe about me?" Edward hopefully asked.

Shaking her head, Bella looked down at Seth and spoke softly. "I-I don't. I'm sorry."

Holding back tears, Edward just nodded. He grew frustrated and spoke quietly. "How can that be that you remember something about everyone but me?"

Bella fought back her own tears. She felt bad that she didn't have the faintest idea about Edward. "I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm not sure how this works."

Esme interrupted both of them. She offered a hopeful smile. "None of that sorry stuff. This isn't your fault. Some things have come back. This is just going to take some time."

Edward was speechless. He looked at his smiling son in his mother's arms and tried not to let his tears of frustration and defeat show. It bothered him that Bella had successfully remembered almost everyone, except for him and their son. He felt discouragement.

Bella saw Edward eyeing their son. She offered a small smile. "He is such a good baby."

Edward nodded slowly trying to hold back his tears. "Yes, he is. We wanted him so badly."

"Emmett, I think mentioned that yesterday. Did we have a hard time getting pregnant?" Bella asked trying to break up the tension. She wanted to learn about her past.

Edward nodded as he still focused on his son. "We did. You had several miscarriages. Seth is our miracle baby. You really took care of yourself down to a t with him. You ate absolutely everything you were supposed to. You only had ice cream after you spoke to your doctor because you were worried about the possibility of exposing Seth to something he shouldn't have been exposed to. You measured it out each time exactly too. You never indulged in anything food wise. You stayed away from cheese and sea food too, even though you craved blue cheese and shrimp."

"Shrimp and blue cheese? Sounds gross," Bella giggled.

Edward loved hearing the sound of laughter escape Bella's mouth. He smiled back as he continued. "Your favorite everyday indulgence was strawberries with a dollop of whipped cream on it, which you made yourself. You ate organically and didn't want any chemicals in your food because they could have been harmful for the baby. You were always so calm and gentle with him. When he was in your belly you always rubbed it. You always talked to him. He'd sometimes think that two am was play time and you never complained about him waking you up. You'd get up and rock in his chair and sing to him. If that didn't settle him down, you'd take a bath, sometimes with me. We both loved those times. I loved sitting back in the tub with my arms around you. I'd stroke your belly gently. I'd sing with you. I loved talking to him too. God, we were so happy."

Bella swallowed. Her mind and heart were filled with regret. She was puzzled why she couldn't remember Edward. "We sound it." She paused and looked at Edward again. "Was the labor bad?"

Smiling, Edward answered his wife's question. "No. It lasted just over four hours, which is quick for a first-time mother. You refused any drugs. You did threaten to kill me a few times and swore off sex for the rest of our lives."

"How'd that go?" Bella chuckled.

Edward grew serious. "We actually haven't been together like that since before he was born."

"Really?"

"Yes. I, well, I was working on a huge case and wasn't home very often. When I was home and ready to go, you weren't. Your days were filled with taking care of him and you were tired, which I understood. We were trying to get on the same page but my uncle gave me this really big case because the family asked for me."

Bella looked up with doe eyes. She placed her hand on his. "I really want to remember you, want to remember what we had but I just can't right now and I don't know why."

Esme interjected once she realized they were both about to cry. "You will remember Edward darling. You will. We will all help you remember him."

Just as Esme as finishing her sentence, the door opened and in walked Carlisle. He placed a kiss on his wife's cheek before placing his hand on Edward's back. "How are we all this morning?"

"We are all well honey. How about you?" Esme asked.

"I'm good. Apparently, I'm being forced to go home for the next three days. I got spoken to about being here for three days straight. I actually used an on-call room to nap in last night because my couch was taken," Carlisle smiled looking at Edward.

"I'm sorry dad."

"Don't be Edward! I'm just teasing you."

"Why were you here that long?" Bella asked.

"Because I wanted to watch my favorite and most important patient myself once she woke up. I was supposed to leave last night but couldn't leave you here alone. I was here in case something happened, or you needed me. I wanted to make sure you got the best care I could give you."

"Thank you," Bella simply stated as she held Seth close to her.

Carlisle sat down in the chair next to her bed. "How was your first night?"

"It went well. I feel good."

"That's what I want to hear."

Esme perked up. "She remembered me Carlisle. This morning when I came in she called me mom and remembered things that we used to do."

"Mom used to take me shopping with Alice," Bella added with a proud smile.

"She remembered she has been calling me mom for a while."

"Since I was in sixth grade I think."

Overwhelmed with emotion, Carlisle chocked. "That's right. You are right."

Edward looked at his father with frustration and pain. "When is she going to remember me?"

Carlisle swallowed hard. He understood Edward's frustrations, but he also understood Bella's confusion. He wanted to have this conversation without Bella sitting next to him. He chose to make his answer brief. "Well, sometimes the mind can't be explained. She is remembering more today than she did when she woke up. So please remain positive and patient with her. She is making progress Edward."

Edward leaned against the wall as he murmured, "Yea, right."

Bella saw the look on Edward's face. She began to feel stressed. "Mom, can you put Seth in his carrier? He's asleep and I don't want to drop him. Plus, I would like some time by myself. So please could you all leave?"

Esme took the baby from Bella's hands and kissed her forehead. "Of course, honey. You need to rest. I'll bring Seth by later this afternoon or evening. If you need or want anything before then call me. I'll write down my number."

"Thank you," Bella responded quietly.

Edward looked around at his parents packing up. He and Bella made eye contact. "What? You mean me too?"

"Yes."

Shaking his head, Edward protested. "No, no. I don't want to leave you. I want to stay."

Carlisle looked at his son and then took Bella's hand. "Edward, Bella needs her rest and-"

Suddenly Bella squeezed Carlisle's hand back. She looked him in the eye and spoke. "When I was fourteen I twisted my ankle in soccer. It was the beginning and the end of my sports career. You fixed me. That is when we started to get close. That is when I started calling you dad. You stayed with me over night when visiting hours were over. My father had to go back to work and Sue had to stay home with Emily. You stayed until I fell asleep and you came in as soon as I woke up. You brought me home in the morning. You didn't want me to be afraid."

Not being able to hold back his tears, Carlisle sobbed. He kissed Bella's head and smiled at her. "Yes, yes you are right."

The moment was short lived. Edward got angry and kicked the wall. He stared at his father before speaking. "Why the fuck doesn't she remember me?"

"Edward Anthony watch your language around your wife!" Esme scolded him.

"Edward, the fact that she is remembering more and more is a good sign. This is good. Now we just need to have patients and faith."

Sobbing was heard in the room. All three sets of eyes were now on Bella who spoke hastily. "I'm sorry. I'm just sorry I can't remember. Please don't get angry with me, just don't, please? Do you think I like sitting in this bed not really knowing who I am or the people around me? Do you think that I enjoy talking to you, my husband and the father of my son and not have a clue to who either one of you are? Do you think I like having you feel like a stranger to me? It sounds like we have had a lot of wonderful experiences together, a life time's worth." Bella paused to let cries escape her mouth. The sounds of her sobbing were the only thing heard in the room until she spoke through her tears. "We created a life together! It sounds like we created an amazing life with each other. I really wish I could remember you and our precious baby. I really-" Emotion over took Bella's voice and she was unable to finish her sentience.

Carlisle shook his head at his son. "Esme why don't you and Edward take Seth and head home. I'm going to leave shortly and I'll meet you at home."

Edward's eyes flashed with remorse as he looked at Bella. "No, I want to stay. I'm sorry. I'm just so confused. I really do want to stay."

Bella looked away from Edward's eyes. Esme picked up on Bella's motion. "Come on Edward, grab your son and lets go home for a while."

"No, I'm staying damn it!" Edward shouted.

"Enough! Edward take your son and go home with your mother, now. We'll talk when I get home. Bella said she wants to rest so respect your wife's wishes and let her rest! I'll talk to you when I get home. Chill out for a while and if you are calm then come back at dinner time."

Angry, Edward walked over to the car seat and lifted it. Seth was still fast asleep. As he walked out the door, he turned around and walked back at Bella's bed. After placing the car seat on the floor, he reached for Bella's hand and kissed it. Tears erupted from his eyes as he gently laid her hand back down. He picked the car seat back up and stormed out of the room.

Seeing that Bella was upset, Esme walked next to her bed. "Honey, don't worry about anyone other than yourself. You need to do that if you want to get better," she smiled motherly. She kissed Bella's head and once again smiled at her. "I promise we'll be back later honey."

Bella nodded her head. "Okay. Thank you."

Esme looked her daughter in law in the eye and continued. "Isabella, you are a strong woman, I know you are. You will get better."

"I hope so. I feel like I'm letting Edward down. Is he always so intense?"

Esme couldn't help but laugh. "Yes he is. He's a little anal and emotional, he always has been, but he means well. He has a good heart and really does love you. I'll see you later and I'll bring your baby boy back with me."

"Thanks mom."

Feeling herself tear up, Esme squeezed Bella's hand. "You have no idea how it warms my heart to hear you say that to me. Rest now sweetie, we'll see you later." She paused before letting go of Bella's hand. She turned to her husband and kissed him. "I'll see you back home for lunch, right sweetheart?"

"Yes, I'll be there after I let Bella rest and finish a few things up in my office," Carlisle promised as he smiled at his wife and watched her walk out the door. "As for you kiddo, I will see you later. Rest, doctor's orders, okay?"

"I will," Bella said as she stared at Carlisle. He was about to turn to leave when she called out to him. "Dad? Could, could you stay with me like you did when I was younger? Just until I'm asleep?"

Carlisle smiled as he situated himself in a chair. "Of course I will. I promise to come back later tonight. Just rest now sweetie."


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note:

Hello again. I was feeling good today so I tried to write back to everyone this evening. I also couldn't sleep so while I was feeling well I worked on another chapter too. I had another doctors appointment with a different doctor for. I saw a rheumatoid arthritis doctor and she agrees I am a mess! HA! I have no real answers, however, my doctor is determined to get to business and see what is going on with me. Monday I have to have x rays taken of my feet and my hand/arm (A little back story, three years ago I was in a bad car accident and broke my arm. I was in physical therapy for about six months. I don't think I healed right. My arm is still swelling up and my fingers go numb. My hand gets really hot and red. Nerve tests have come back normal. I have consulted two doctors besides my surgeon and they have been quick to give me a prescription but not to help solve any issues. I almost gave up because I was so frustrated). I also have to have blood work done. She is testing me for twelve (yes 12!) different things plus two different vitamin deficiencies. We'll see what happens. Oh and like every doctor I have seen in the past two months, she disagrees with my diagnoses of my hand/feet thing. Really I feel like I'm starting from the beginning again. So that is what I am up to.

Anyway, sorry if I over shared. I'm just frustrated. I'm too young to have so many issues.

Thank you all again for the reviews and the wishes for good health. I always say I appreciate it which I do, however, I had so many well wishes that I was very touched. Thank you all. It really does mean so much to me.

I'm done talking/venting. I'm going to try and get some sleep now that it is 2:15am! Yikes! I haven't' done this in a while!

Enjoy and thanks again!

-Lisa

* * *

Chapter Eight

" _Where were you?" Edward asked as Bella came into the house late._

 _She went out after work and then with friends from work. Jacob was in town just for the evening and he joined her friends. "I had a meeting and then we went out for dinner. What's the big deal?" She asked as she climbed the stairs to their bedroom. She felt like Edward was scolding her like Charlie did a handful of times when she was adolescent.  
_

" _Big deal?" Edward screeched. "It's almost two in the morning! That's the big deal! You never called or told me. You could have called you know!"_

 _Bella rolled her eyes as she walked into the closet and started changing into her pajamas. "Welcome to my club! You never do any of those things Edward, so how does it feel?"_

" _Jessica calls you Bella, that is her job."_

" _Oh, Jessica," Bella said as she walked out of the closet. "I forgot how reliable she is. Here's the thing Edward, I did text you and email your personal and work accounts. Look," Bella told him as she picked up the phone and showed her from earlier in the week that talked about the meeting husband. She said she was going out for dinner afterwards and Jacob might be joining them. She then showed him the texts she had sent earlier in the day._

 _Confused, Edward took his phone. "I never got either of those messages. I wonder why."_

" _I know why. Somehow Jessica intercepted them."_

 _Shaking his head, Edward looked at Bella. "No this is my personal phone not my work phone. I always have it with me. Not everything that goes wrong is her fault. I can be a moron all on my own."_

" _Oh I know you can be but I still love you and I trust you." Bella said as she got into bed._

 _Edward looked at her like she had seven heads. "I don't get it."_

" _You poor baby, let me explain this to you before you hurt that pretty head of yours. I love and trust you. It's Jessica I don't trust. I don't at all."_

 _Signing, Edward looked at Bella. He was tired of this argument. He knew his wife didn't like his assistant. There was nothing he could do. His uncle was in charge of hiring and firing. There were no grounds to dismiss her of her job. Unfortunately Edward was busy at work and needed the help. "Let's talk about people and trust. Jacob Black? Bella you know I don't like him."_

" _I don't know why. I was literally hanging out with a cop all night who made sure I got home safely. He followed me," Bella told him._

" _Oh goody." Edward rolled his eyes. "I really don't like him. This isn't about him even though I brought him up. I was worried about you Bells. You didn't answer my calls or texts. I didn't know where you were."_

 _Bella shrugged her shoulders. "I'm sorry about that but I didn't think I had to check in with you. I didn't know you never got the messages. I had to work late and then I unwound with friends from work and Jacob. I figured you had plans. I didn't know I needed your permission."_

" _It's not that you needed permission Bella, it's just I was scared when you didn't come home and you weren't answering your phone. I almost called the police."_

 _Shaking her head Bella laughed. "Oh Edward. You would have overreacted. I'm fine and I'm not going anywhere."_

" _Not even with Jacob Black?" Edward teased._

 _Chuckling again, Bella kissed her husband. "Especially not with Jacob Black. I'm not his type and he isn't mine."_

" _You're not his type? Is he blind?" Edward said. "Oh he must have a thing for big boobed blondes."_

" _Something like that Edward."_

 _Adding to the conversation, Edward looked at his wife. "He's not your type either?"_

" _Do you even know me?" Bella asked. "No, he isn't my type. I do like tall men, slender with a slight build. Nice abs and arms. Beautiful, crazy, wild hair with these great highlights. Green eyes. A bigish nose. Pale, snow white skin. That is my dream man."_

 _Edward burst out in laughter. "Well, I like that description. You don't have to go very far to fulfill any fantasies with that man."_

" _Nope. You are right here. We may bicker and not agree but Edward, you are it for me and will always be it. I always have loved you and I always will. Your stuck with me."_

 _Kissing the top of her head, Edward pulled her close. "I'm still mad at you for not knowing where you were until two am because you really had me worried, but I love you too. You are my everything Bells."_

* * *

Edward was pacing the kitchen as Esme fed Seth. "Where the hell is he? Something is wrong with Bella, I can feel it. He should have been home by now."

Jasper shook his head. "Edward calm down. Nothing is wrong. Carlisle would have called if something was wrong."

"Edward you're going to give yourself an aneurysm if you keep walking back and forth stressing out over nothing," Charlie told Edward

Edward ran his hands through his hair and looked at everyone in the room. He zeroed in on Charlie and huffed before he spoke. "How the hell can you say that? My wife, the woman I love more than anything else in this world has no idea who the hell I am or how hard she worked and cared about our son. She has no idea what she put herself through to carry Seth. She doesn't know either one of us. How can you say this is nothing?"

Esme took Seth out of the high chair and cleaned him up from his lunch. "Oh Edward-"

Edward took the baby from his mother's arms. "Don't mom, just don't. I know everyone is hurting but no one knows how I feel. She knows everyone in this room besides me and our son. I-I-I can't do this. We're leaving," Edward said as he left the house with his son.

After watching her son pull out of the driveway, Esme shook her head. "I have no doubt in my mind that Bella will get better, it's Edward I'm worried about. He isn't eating, and he is so angry."

"Was that Edward speeding past me in his car?" Carlisle asked as he walked through the door.

"Yes it was. He is losing his mind Carlisle. Please tell me you have some good news? Good news you can share with Edward and make him calm down," Esme begged.

Carlisle sighed. "I don't know if Edward will like it." Carlisle paused. "I think Bella will be able to be released in a few days."

"Carlisle, that's great," Jasper smiled.

Nodding Carlisle continued. "When she is released I don't think she should come here. I think she might be better off at home with you Charlie."

"Carlisle that's crazy. That's four hours away from here," Esme told her husband.

"I think for a little while it might do her some good. We can have her watch her wedding video and look through pictures. I honestly think she will gradually regain her memory. I know this is frustrating but I'm almost certain her memory will return we just need to be patient." Carlisle explained.

"Is it a good thing that she is remembering little by little instead of all at once?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, its very good actually. She remembers actual events too which is good. I feel good in saying she will get better. I just think a more relaxed atmosphere would do her better. She seems to remember a lot from when she was a teen so I think being in her childhood home will be the best thing for her," Carlisle rationed. He was hesitant about the next bit of information. "We all know what Bella's last actions were right before the accident and what led up to the event. I believe her brain is blocking Edward out on purpose. The brain tends to block things that are not pleasant from the memory. I think that whatever happened is being blocked from Bella's mind and inadvertently is blocking Edward and Seth out."

The room was silent before Sue spoke up in a whisper. "How long will she block Edward out?"

Carlisle shrugged with his hands in his pockets. "I don't know. It could come back tomorrow or it may never come back. Time will tell. If I could make one more suggestion, I think it is best if we don't speak of this to Bella or Edward. Bella would just put guilt on herself and we all ready know she is doing the best she can. Edward is so stressed to the max that I don't know what he would do with this. It's best for at least now we keep this to ourselves."

Mumbles and head nods in agreement followed Carlisle. Silence once again filled the room until Esme shot up.

"Carlisle, did you rent our old house next to Charlie's?" Esme asked. When Carlisle transferred to a hospital in Seattle years ago they decided to rent their house instead of selling it. They figured it would be a nice place to retire when they were ready.

"No, the family just moved out. The painters came and touched up the rooms and the rugs have been washed. Just this week I think. Why? What are you thinking?" Carlisle asked with a smile on his face. He knew what Esme was up to.

"Good. I'm going up there. I know that Charlie and Sue both need to go back to work. I'll stay with Bella and watch her. I'll make food for you guys too. You're going to need help with her. I know Emily said she would help but it'll be nice to be up there to help you guys out in anyway." Esme paused before she placed her hand on top of Charlie's and smiled. "The truth is Charlie I have loved her since she was six years old and missing her front tooth. I feel grateful that you have shared her with us. I feel like she is one of my own children. I love her as if she were my daughter. You too Jasper. We love you as much as much as we love Bella. You've eaten enough of my food over the years and talked Emmett out of only god knows what. You are like my boy too. "

Jasper laughed. "Thanks Esme."

"Esme," Charlie started. "If you are sure you want to relocate for who knows how long, I appreciate it. I'll make sure Emily stocks your shelves. If you have any requests let her know. I have her email around here somewhere."

With a smile and a tap on Charlie's arm, Esme looked up. "Thank you Charlie and it is my pleasure to help you out. Carlisle, when are you planning on releasing her?"

Carlisle looked up as he poured a cup of coffee. "In a day or two. Three at the absolute latest."

"I can work with that. Tonight, I will look through my cook books and email Emily that list. I'll make sure Edward and Seth are all packed and ready to go. We will all have each other, and we will get through this with each other. Bella will remember, I know she will."

"Emily mentioned about coming up too. She is on break from school and said she wants to help," Charlie added.

Sipping his coffee, Carlisle looked around the room. "We'll figure out arrangements later. We don't want to overwhelm Bella either. I know Edward is completely stressed. I cannot imagine what he is going through, but I need to talk with him. He cannot have any more outbursts like the one he did today. Bella spoke with me after he left and she told me she felt ambushed. She is all ready confused and isn't completely herself. Honestly, I don't know if she will regain her memory of Edward. I want to believe from a medical and family stand point she will regain all of that but I just don't know. I don't want to make any promises."

Charlie stood up and patted Carlisle's shoulders. "I want to say thank you. You all have been like a second family since we moved here all of those years ago. I know that you Carlisle are a good doctor and just as important, you are a good man. You usually pour one hundred percent of yourself into your patients but with Bella I feel like you are pouring over two hundred percent into it. Thanks buddy."

"Charlie, we all love her and want the best for her. I'm trying to make it better for her," Carlisle responded.

"I appreciate that. Thank you for treating her like your own."

Chuckling, Carlisle looked at Charlie. "Well she is like our adopted daughter. We love her as if she were our own. You heard Esme. We both feel like that about Bella and Jasper."

Esme looked at both Charlie and Carlisle with a smile as she walked over to wipe the table and began to wipe it off. "Not that plans are set into place, we need to talk to Edward, but I don't know where he is."

"He pulled into the drive way about twenty minutes ago, but I haven't seen him," Jasper said.

"Maybe he just took Seth for a walk?" Esme questioned out loud.

Carlisle sat his mug on the counter. A thought popped into his head. "I know where he is. I'll go get him."

"No Carlisle, you have to rest," Esme began to say.

Carlisle held his wife's hand and kissed her cheek. "And I will rest after I get Edward. I promise it won't take too long."

After taking off his dress shoes, Carlisle quickly put on his sneakers. He left the front door and walked behind the house. He followed a dirt path for about ten minutes. It led deep into the woods. He then veered off the path and walked through the grass and climbed a small hill. On top of the hill he saw what he expected. He saw Edward's silver Rav 4 parked on the side of the road. Edward was sitting with his back towards Carlisle. He held Seth between his legs and he was crying.

Without saying a word, Carlisle walked over to Edward and took Seth form him. He placed him on a blanket in front of them with his toys. Carlisle looked at his son and hugged him. Edward wrapped his arms around his father and completely broke down in tears. His body shook because he was so emotional and upset.

"This is all my fault dad. Everything is my fault. I knew Bella wasn't okay with Jessica working for me. I knew it. I should have been more forceful with Uncle Marcus to let her go. We wouldn't be here if I just did it." Edward stopped to calm down he removed himself from his father and wiped his face. "I told Uncle Marcus I'm not going back there. He told me he all ready let Jessica go but it doesn't matter. I spent too many long hours away from my wife and son. I don't know what I will do but I'm not going back there again. I quit. There are other things that are more important to me. I just want my wife back," Edward concluded as he began to sob again.

"Edward," Carlisle said gently as he hugged his son again. "This isn't your fault. None of this is your fault."

"Dad, what do I do? I'm so afraid. I'm so scared that my wife will never know who I am or our son."

Carlisle took his own advice and didn't mention what he thought Bella's brain was doing. He took a breath of air and began to explain what was going on. "Well, Bella will be released in a day or so. I've talked to Charlie and since she seems to remember Forks the most we are bringing her up there."

"You can't. This is her home here with me and our son," Edward tried to reason.

"You're right, it is her home, but she seems to remember most about Forks and her life there. We are all going home. I actually have to double check to make sure the realtor hasn't rented the house. I don't know how long it will be but we'll all be there. I'm going to talk about getting transferred to Forks General for a little while. Your mom can do a lot of her work from home and only come back to the city occasionally."

Edward nodded and swallowed hard. He didn't speak up as he spoke to his father. "Level with me dad. Do you think she'll ever remember me again?"

Sighing, Carlisle sat back. He had to think logically what he could tell Edward. "I am telling you this as both a doctor and your father. Edward, I have no idea if she will. I just don't know. I don't want to give you false hope Edward and I'm not going to lie to you. No two cases are ever the same. They might have similarities, but they aren't the same."

Edward nodded. "Otherwise she's good? I mean healthy? Nothing to worry about?"

"She is extremely healthy. A lot better than I was anticipating. When she was in the coma, her body had time to heal without being interrupted." Carlisle paused as he watched his son pick a piece of grass and then throw it back onto the ground. "There is one thing I need to talk to you about though that concerns Bella."

Concerned, Edward looked up at his father. "What is it?"

"Well, it was your behavior at the hospital."

Edward shook his head violently. "I know I was wrong. I was so wrong. I shouldn't have gotten angry but dad, I don't know what I'm doing and I'm so frustrated. She remembered everyone but Seth and I. I'm not sleeping well. Hell, mom has been pretty much raising Seth. I don't know what I am doing and I am not handling it well."

"I understand Edward and I respect you for saying that, you are in an extremely tough situation, but you have to think about where she is coming from. You're scared and I understand that. I have no idea how I would be reacting if I were in your shoes, however, Bella can't have the added stress. Imagine how scared you are and you know Bella. You know your son. Bella had to remember people and events all over again. As you know she is still remembering new things everyday. Imagine how she is feeling right now."

"She probably feels worse than I could ever imagine."

"You're right, she does. Edward, you have to listen to me. After she is released, she will be the first priority. From here on out it is about Bella and her recovery. I'm not saying you can't break down or be upset, you certainly have the right to feel that way, but you can't do that in front of her. This is about her. If there is a repeat of what happened in the hospital today I will not hesitate to throw you in the car myself and escort you back to Seattle, do you understand? Am I making myself clear?"

"Crystal," Edward replied as he picked up his son. Seth smiled vibrantly at his father. "I understand, I really do." He stopped and smiled back at his son before looking at his father. "Mom said that Bella remembered Rose and that they are cousins. Mom showed her some family pictures and Bella picked Rose out on her own. It really is just Seth and I now she doesn't remember. She has no idea about our history or about this little one. It kills me dad, it really really does. I have spent all of my time with her in the hospital and it's like it doesn't matter. The last twenty three years just don't matter or didn't happen."

Carlisle nodded. "I know it is upsetting, but you have to remain positive Edward. Break down and cry in your own space, not in hers. Also, don't get upset or frustrated with her. She feels worse."

"I know. I feel like a terrible person."

"Don't Edward. This isn't your fault and it isn't about you."

Edward inhaled and took a moment before he spoke. "It scares the hell out of me that she may never remember me and before you say it, I have been giving it time. I know she has only been awake for a few days but dad, I've been by her side for six weeks. I've been worried about her. I have had nightmares of losing her and she can't remember who I am. I've had nightmares that she has walked out on me and Seth because she doesn't remember us and she wants to start a new life without us. To me that is scarier than anything else. She acts like a stranger around me." Edward paused before he lifted his sleepy son to his arms and cradled him. "There is a possibility that she will never remember me, us. What happens if she wants a divorce? What if she would want to move on with her life and just forget us? What would we do then? I have never in all of my life loved another woman like I love her. There will never be another out there for me. I don't care about the other women, I love my wife and just want her to be with me."

Carlisle placed an arm on Edward's shoulder. "I think it is a little premature to be thinking that way Edward. The only thing you can do is give her more time. She will come around I'm sure of it."

Edward nodded not really believing his father. "Right, time." Edward looked from his son to his father. "How did you know I was here? I didn't think anyone, but Bella knew about this place."

Carlisle laughed. "Edward, I know more than I let on. I went for a walk after we bought the place and you and Bella were here making out. I never said anything because I never wanted to embarrass either one of you. It wasn't the last time I saw you either. I like walking the trails and off the path."

Finally, a smile came to Edward's mouth. He and Bella often slipped away when they visited Edward's parents to the very spot he was sitting on at that moment. He also knew that Emmett and Rose knew of it as well. "Thanks for not saying anything to her. I think she would be mortified." He paused and looked at his father again. "You should get some rest. You've been up for a while."

"You sound like your mother now."

Chuckling, Edward held his sleeping son tight. He kissed his head. "Well I can't have my wife's best doctor being tired. I'll drive us all back."

Carlisle stood up and then helped Edward. He gathered the blanket and toys on the ground and held them. "I'd like that. Come on kids, let's go back home."

* * *

Author's Note 2:

Some of you had guessed it. Bella's brain is blocking Edward out due to drama with him. This part is based a little off of my experience. Not that I was in a coma because I wasn't, but as I mentioned I was in a car accident. I was pulled over on the side of the road and someone hit me and my mother head on going sixty miles an hour (it was a thirty miles an hour zone) while she was texting (the woman was also sixty and not a teenager). I was driving. I have no recollection of the actual crash and the point of impact. I remember pulling over because I couldn't get passed her. The first thing I remember is that my head was resting on the airbag. I then thought i needed to turn on my hazard lights and they wouldn't go on (she hit me hard enough that she whacked the battery out of place. I lost a Josh Groban Cd in that car!). I remember I was hazy. It was a weird experience. When I followed up with my primary doctor a few days later she explained to me the brain does stuff that we don't understand. In this instance it blocked out the trauma and the pain of the point of impact. It's weird though. My mother remembers the point of impact perfectly. I as I said do not. It's interesting how it works. Okay, now it's almost two thirty. I'm off to bed now for real but I wanted to explain about this part of the story.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note:

Hi-

Thank you to everyone who read and left comments. I appreciate it! I am feeling a little bit better. Still really itchy and really tired. Good news, my arthritis isn't horrible according to x rays and my liver count is back to normal. Still waiting on some of the tests to come back. I'm still itchy and had to stop taking the steroid cream/gel because my hands were bleeding they were so dry and cracked. Good news for Cetaphil, I'm buy stock in their company! I am waiting on more test results. Some won't be back for over two weeks because they have to go to a lab in Boston to be tested and read. I'm still super itchy and uncomfortable. We shall see what happens. Thanks for the well wishes, I appreciate it.

Okay, back to our story. This chapter will make some of you angry. Keep your faith with Edward. He isn't a bad guy. He's a little all over the place and a little lost.

I'm not going to lie. The next chapter won't be out as quickly. This chapter was half done with I wrote the last chapter. I'll do my best but please don't think I'm giving up on this story because I'm not!

Lastly, if you are down in the south in the Carolinas or anywhere else the impact of the hurricane might hit, please be safe. My thoughts are with you.

-Lisa

* * *

Chapter Nine

 _"Edward, he's okay! Can you hear him?" Bella cried as the nurse took her son to check his health. She had just delivered their son. It was quick and she heard the newborn screaming which made her smile. He was seemed healthy.  
_

 _Kissing his wife's head, Edward smiled. "I think everyone between here and Canada can hear the lungs on him. You did good baby. You did it! You kept him safe and took care of him for nine months. He's here because of you. I love you so much Bells!"_

 _Bella cried. Tears of happiness fell for her son. Tears of sadness for the children she had lost. Tears of tiredness. She was just emotional. Her emotional journey with trying to carry to full term ended successfully, finally. Exhaustion soon took over._

 _"You can't rest now mom, someone wants to meet you," the nurse said as she rested the baby on Bella's chest. "He's a doll. Very handsome. You did a good job mom. Congrats to you and to you too dad."_

 _Edward put a hand on his son's back. He too soon had tears in his eyes but excitement in his heart. "He's beautiful, isn't he? Bella, we made him! He's alive because of us! Look at how tiny he is! Hey buddy I'm your daddy and this amazing, beautiful, generous woman is your mom. You don't know how lucky you are to have her as your mom. She loves you so much. I love you so much. We've loved you since before we made you. Oh buddy, we are so, so happy that you are here. You have no clue how much we wanted to have you. Happy doesn't even start to explain how thankful we are."_

 _Bella placed her free hand on Edwards and leaned up to peak his lips. "He's perfect Edward. Absolutely perfect." Bella paused and stared at her son who was fast asleep on her stomach. "Are you sure about his name?"_

 _Nodding his head, Edward beamed at his son. They had discussed names back and forth for months. They decided they wanted the name to mean something. Together they had chosen to honor Bella's brother who died at birth. When they were discussing names, Edward had suggested that. His middle name came as a traditional name that every male for four generations had on Edward's side of the family. He hated the idea; however, Bella loved the idea of something being passed on from one generation to the next. "Yes. Seth Anthony it's nice to finally meet and welcome to our family. Everyone can't wait to meet you."_

 _Soon Bella, Edward and their new son were escorted up to a post-partum suite. Edward called their families as the nurse helped Bella clean up. They were all surprised that the baby made his appearance a little premature. Both the Cullen's and the Swan's promised to visit in the morning. In a way they were thankful the baby had arrived early. He was supposed to be born in Seattle since Bella had a high-risk pregnancy. There was no time to get to Seattle, so he was born in Port Angeles. They would also learn his name tomorrow._

 _The nurses offered to take the baby for the evening while Bella and Edward got rest. Both parents rejected the idea. They finally had a child and they wanted him with them. Before they were ready for bed, a nurse came in to show Bella how to feed Seth. At first, he didn't seem crazy about the idea. Soon he latched and drank from his mother. It was so naturally easy for both mother and child. After his first feeding, Edward set an alarm on his phone to feed the infant again. Bella moved in close to the chair that made into a bed which Edward was going to sleep on. She watched as Edward placed the infant in the crib. He quickly got into bed and grabbed Bella's hand and kissed it. "This feels like a dream," he told his wife as he still held her hand._

 _"I can't explain how I feel. I know I should be exhausted and tired and I know I need to sleep, but I just want to watch him and make sure he is real. Edward, our baby is healthy, and we will make him happy. I think I got my second wind. I'm too excited to sleep. I feel like it is Christmas Eve," Bella beamed before a little yawn escaped her mouth._

 _Edward laughed. "Not tired? You could have fooled me!" He kissed the back of Bella's hand once more and looked up at her. "We need to get rest, I mean we aren't going to rest for the next eighteen years. My as well get used to it now. Isabella, I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you and appreciate all of your hard work. You carried him for nine months. You took care of yourself and did everything by the book and your doctor. Even in the delivery room you were like a champ. The doctor and nurses were all surprised how quickly you progressed with the birth. You are a super hero, no you are a rockstar. No, you are my hero. I know you were scared to love Seth when you found out you were pregnant because you expected him not to develop. You never showed it at all. You just did what you had to do and you did it like a champ."_

 _Bella smiled. "You knew I was scared? I never told you that."_

 _"There is so little that I don't know about you Bells. Sometimes I feel like I know you better than I know myself."_

 _"I love you so much Edward."_

 _"I love you too Bells." They laid in silence and in the dark for just a few brief seconds before Edward spoke up again. "Hey Bella?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Do you remember the delivery well?"_

 _"I do. Why are you asking?"_

 _"Well, it's just that you said something in there and I didn't know if you meant them."_

 _"I did? Like what?"_

 _"Well, you said and I quote, 'if you think you are ever going to have sex with me again you are insane.' Did you mean it?"_

 _Bella burst out laughing. "Oh yes. We are done, at least for a while. I am so appreciative of having Seth here but the thought of going through it again so soon scares me. So sorry honey."_

 _"I can appreciate that. Can I still keep my balls?" Edward asked seriously._

 _Not being able to contain her laughter, Bella sat up. "What?"_

 _"Well, you threatened to take those."_

 _"Oh Edward! You silly, silly man. I love every inch of you. I'm not going to change you at all. I don't want them. You are better off having them."_

 _Edward sat up and leaned over and kissed his wife. "You do know what is mine is yours. If you ever change your mind about that sex thing I can share."_

 _"I'll remember that." Bella paused for a moment and looked at Edward. "I don't remember threatening your balls. I'm sorry if I was over emotional in the delivery room."_

 _"Oh Bella, don't apologize. You did all of the work today. You deserve to make what I hope are empty threats," Edward explained. He looked up and noticed Bella was fast asleep. He once again kissed her hand and squeezed it. "I love you so much. You and now Seth are my world. I love you both more than anything else in the world."_

After being released from the hospital, Bella returned to her childhood home in the sleepy town of Forks Washington. She remembered some things from her life before the accident. Once she arrived home, she recalled her room being a lilac color at one time. She even told her father and step mother the former room arrangement and the color of her bedding. Long vacant after Bella left for college, the room had been turned into a guest room and had gold and beige tones in it.

Bella spent a lot of time with her younger sister Emily. It was lucky that Bella was recovering during the summer. Emily, who was a teacher, had the summer off as they got reacquainted. Emily introduced Bella to Sam, her fiancé and a good friend of the family. Sam and his brother Jacob were the sons of Charlie's best friend and fire chief Billy. The boys had grown up with his girls. Emily and Sam's romance was much like Bella and Edward's. They had grown up together and were each other's first loves. Jacob had always been a good friend to Bella. Edward admitted several times that he didn't like him. Edward told his wife that Jacob just wanted to get into her pants. Bella used to tease Edward that he was just jealous. Edward of course denied this countless times through the years and never gave Bella a concrete reason why he disliked Jacob.

The second week of Bella being home Jasper had to go back to his job in Seattle. He knew that she was being left in the good hands of their family members, but he wanted to help her. Emily promised to keep Jasper updated on Bella's improvements throughout the week.

"I feel stupid. Like you're using flash cards people I should know," Bella said as she sat cross legged on the couch looking at Emily go through a stack of pictures.

"It's only temporary. Bells, you're going to get your memory back. You've done amazing so far." Emily paused as she looked at a picture of their father with his first love. They were in college. She slowly turned it around and looked at Bella. "Do you know who this is?"

Bella took the photo and stared at it. She shook her head. "That's Renee, right? My mother?"

"Yes it is. Good job. Do you, well, do you know where she is?"

Sadly, Bella smiled. "She died after I was born. I never met her. Mom, our mom is the only one I know."

"You're right Bells," Emily praised her as the door bell rang. "I don't know who that could be. I'll be right back."

Bella heard Emily laugh and Edward's voice. She slowly walked him into the room. Bella politely smiled at him. "Hi Edward. Where is Seth?"

"Hi Bella," he said sitting across from her. "Mom took him food shopping so I thought I'd come over to see you. How are you?" It broke Edward's heart that his lover still didn't know who he was. Sometimes she would remember events but he was erased from her memory. He was waiting for her to come back to him. He didn't care how long it would take, he just wanted her back.

"Things are good. I'm remembering more."

Edward reached for Bella's hand and smiled. "That's excellent. I'm very proud of you."

Bashfully smiling, Bella looked at him. "Thank you."

They continued to chat about nothing when the door bell rang again. Emily walked back into the room with Jacob.

"Hey chica! How are you today?" Jacob asked picking up and hugging Bella. Jacob was a police officer, like Charlie. Sam had pressured him to join the fire department like he and their father. Jacob chose the law enforcement field. Bella had remembered Jacob when she saw him. This added fuel to Edward's fire.

"You're looking good Jake. Nice outfit," Bella laughed.

"Make fun all you want to. I had a few minutes before my shift and I thought I'd visit you, you smart ass!" Jacob turned and looked at Edward. Jacob liked and respected Edward. He had no idea about Edward's insecurities with his relationship with Bella. "Hey man, how are you doing?" He asked as he extended his hand for Edward.

"Good, thank you Jacob," Edward politely replied and shook Jacob's hand

. "You?"

"I can't complain. So how is our patient doing?" Jacob asked returning his attention to the woman who was like a sister to him.

"She's doing great," Emily began. "She is remembering more."

"That's awesome B, good for you. It'll all come back, you'll see."

"I hope so. I'm remembering things more and more but there is so much I still don't remember. I hate it," Bella said frustrated.

Jacob walked in front of her and bent down on his knees. "Hey, calm down. Things are going to be okay. Things won't go back to normal today or tomorrow but someday they will and you will look back at this time and know that you are strong and can survive anything."

With tears in her eyes, Bella nodded and leaned into Jacob for a hug. He held her tight as if she needed protection. Edward glanced up at Emily, who knew he didn't care for Jacob. Emily patted Edward's arm sympathetically.

Jacob pulled himself away from Bella and placed his fingers under her chin. "I have to get going before your father yells at me for being late, but I have the day off in two days. Maybe I will come over and hang out with you."

"I'd like that, thank you Jake."

Jacob kissed Bella's check and Edward looked away. It killed him that his wife was so openly affectionate with Jacob and still did not remember him.

Emily walked Jacob to the door as Bella looked at Edward. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Edward tried to smile. He tried to hide his emotion. He didn't want to upset Bella.

Bella looked at Edward curiously. "You don't like him, do you?"

"What? Why would you say that?"

"Because you were uncomfortable around him and cringed a little bit. Why don't you like him?"

Edward took a deep breath. Even without her memory Edward didn't think he could fool Bella. "It's not that I don't like him. It's just that, well, it's just frustrating Bella, that's all."

Softly, Bella spoke. "I'm sorry."

"Sweetheart," Edward began as he walked over to Bella. Just as Jacob had done before he knelt in front of her. He grabbed her hands and kissed both of them. "This isn't your fault. Jacob has always frustrated me. I've never been a big fan of his. Okay?"

Bella nodded. "You have been so sweet to me. So kind and loving. I'm sorry I don't-"

"Don't you dare finish that statement. We're going to be fine. I know you'd do the same thing for me, if not more if the situation were reversed. We took a vow that stated in sickness and in health. Right now I need to help you to get better."

Bella smiled as the tears stopped leaving her eyes. "I think I have to add amazing to that list. I'm lucky we were so happy together."

"There, I love that right there," Edward said looking at her. He let go of one of her hands and cupped her face.

"What are you talking about?"

"That smile. Your smile makes me happy," he leaned forward and kissed her head. She wasn't comfortable with kissing him due to the fact she didn't remember him. "I know you'll come back to me Bella, I just know it."

"I wanted to go out for a little bit," Edward told his mother was he walked down the stairs. He was staying with his parents so he too could help with Bella's recovery efforts. He wanted Bella to take care of herself and get better. He didn't want her to be stressed out. He didn't want to go home without Bella. "Seth is sleeping in my room. The monitor is on. Would you mind watching him for a few hours?"

Esme worried about her son. He put on a good show but she knew he was hurting.

"Where are you going?"

"I just want to go out by myself and do something. I won't be out late."

"Okay. Edward, I love you honey."

"Thanks mom, I love you too."

Edward got into his car and drove around. He didn't have a particular location in his head but he didn't want to sit around the house either. He wanted to get away from his life at the moment. He decided to stop at a little bar. He parked his car and went in.

He sat at the bar and ordered a whisky and a beer. Two drinks turned into three, which then turned into just a whiskey. He was having a pity party for himself. Edward was nursing his beverage when he looked up. He saw a girl from high school. Kate was friend with Jessica. Edward remembered seeing a picture of them on Jessica's desk at work.

"I'll have a Captain and diet Coke please. Oh hi Edward, how is it going?" Kate asked with a grin.

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "It's going Kate. How are you?"

"I'm good. Are you here alone?"

"Yep. I'm having a little me time tonight. The baby is asleep and I'm here."

"How is Bella doing? Jess told me all about the accident. I'm sorry."

"Bella is great. Doing awesome thank you," Edward sarcastically laughed.

Kate reached out to pay for her drink when Edward stopped her. He looked at the bartender. "I'll pay for it. Can I have another whiskey please?" He saw Kate smile at him and he looked at her. "What?"

"Well, you didn't sound so convincing Edward. Something is wrong with Bella?"

Edward, who had a pretty good buzz going knew that Kate was trying to get information for Jessica and he didn't want to get into much detail. Jessica was the one who caused the situation and she didn't deserve any details. "Bella is just having a hard tell remembering things. She has some memory loss."

The bartender came over and placed the drinks in front of Edward and Kate. "Thank you for the drink. I'm sorry Edward. This must be so difficult for you."

Edward and Kate continued to talk for another hour. Edward shared more details about Bella's situation as well as his frustration. He wasn't sharing any incriminating information, just the basics. Even with a buzz he knew not to give too many details. Kate was always very friendly and nice to him however he knew whatever he said was going to go back to Jessica. He didn't want to risk her trying to coming back into his life.

As predicted, Kate played the part of supportive friend. She became very flirty with Edward. She reached for him and patted his knee. She rubbed his hands. She sat too close to him. It was something Edward would normally push away but it had been a long time since Bella showed him any affection. It felt nice to be close to another woman.

Kate placed an arm around Edward's neck and made him chuckle with whatever she had said. Edward politely smiled and pushed himself away. He knew it was wrong to be this close to another woman. He went to speak when someone came over to the table.

"Edward, hey man. It's nice to see you and your, friend?" Jacob asked as he sat across from Edward.

The last thing that Edward wanted to do was put up fucking Jacob Black. "Hi. This is Kate. Bella and I went to high school with her. We're old friends."

Jacob nodded. "Hi Kate, I'm Jacob."

"Hi," Kate politely said as she shook Jacob's hand. She felt uncomfortable and felt tension between the two men. "You know Edward, it was really great to catch up. I hope to see you again."

 _Don't hold your breath._ "Yea, it was good to see you too. Take care."

Kate smiled and walked out of the bar without another word. Jacob looked at Edward and didn't say a word at first. Edward looked away from him. Jacob leaned into the table and looked at Edward. "What the hell are you thinking?"

"What?"

"What is going on in your head? You have a wife and you are sitting here all nice and cozy with the town's slut? I thought you were better than that."

Edward started laughing. "We weren't cozy."

"Are you drunk?" Jacob asked as he sat at the table with Edward.

Shrugging his shoulders, Edward answered. "Maybe?" Edward snapped back. "What's it to you anyway?"

Jacob shook his head. "Look, I know you have never liked me and that's fine. I think you are a decent guy who has treated my best friend as a princess. I know you love Bella. I can't even begin to fathom what you are experiencing now."

Again, Edward laughed disgustedly. "You're right. You have no idea what it is like for the person who you love more than anything else in the world have no fucking idea who you or your child are. I go, I sit with her, we laugh. She gets nervous and fidgety around me and has no clue who I am. She has no fucking clue! " Edward paused as he looked at Jacob. "I am going to get going. See you around," Edward went to stand up and tripped over his own feet. Jacob shook his head.

"I can't let you drive home," Jacob told him.

"Fuck you. I'm going home," Edward replied.

"Edward, don't make me pull the cop card because I will do it. I will have you arrested for driving under the influence if you start your car. You could kill yourself or someone else. You can pick up your car tomorrow morning. Your family is already under so much stress. I can't add to it."

Edward rolled his eyes as he stumbled. "Fine. I guess I'll be walking home."

"I can give you a ride. Do you hate me so much that you can't sit in my car for less than twenty minutes?"

Edward sighed. He felt defeated. "No I guess not, thank you."

Jacob helped Edward out to his car. Edward sat and looked out the window.

"So can I ask you a question?"

"Sure Officer Black," Edward responded sarcastically.

Smiling, Jacob looked at Edward before he started his car. "Why is it that you hate me so much? I have respect for you and think you are pretty likable. I don't understand why you never liked me."

"It's simple Black, I don't like your relationship with my wife. For years you've been trying to get into her pants. You don't respect me."

"You think I want Bella?" Jacob watched as Edward nodded his head. "Seriously?"

"Yes. You've always been flirty and hands on with her. She loves me, well," Edward stopped and looked at his hands. "She used to. Now she doesn't know who I am and I'm not too sure how she feels about me."

Jacob took a deep breath. "Edward I promise you I don't want to sleep with Bella. She has been a very good friend to me over the years."

"I'm sure she has."

Jacob sat up and looked at Edward. "She is the person I can be most honest with and she doesn't judge me."

"She has a heart of gold, even now" Edward truthfully told Jacob. "I'm still not convinced that you don't want her. I know you do."

"Bella is special and I love her."

Edward scrawled as he looked at Jacob. "Watch what you say about my wife!"

"Bella is like a sister to me." Jacob paused as he looked Edward in the eye. He took a breath before he spoke. "Edward, Bella was the first person I ever told that I am gay."

Silence filled the car. For a moment Edward didn't have a witty comeback. Edward stared at Jacob. He was confused. "Gay?"

"Yes, gay."

Silence filled the car. Edward never took his eyes off of Jacob. "Gay? Gay gay, as in you like guys and Barbara Streisand?"

Jacob couldn't help but start to laugh. "Yes I like men and no to Babs, she does nothing for me."

Edward sat back in his seat. Even drunk he realized that he had been wrong about Jacob. Jacob was caring and wanted what was best for Bella because he loved her and respected her, not because he wanted to sleep with her. "When did you tell Bella?"

"Right after we graduated from college."

Amazed that it had been so long Edward was shocked. "Really? Do other people know?"

Sadly Jacob shook his head. "No. She is the only one besides Emily and Sam, but she's known the longest. I'm working towards telling my dad. I think he'll be fine, but it's kind of scary."

"Dude, Billy is a good guy, he cares about you. He'll be cool with it."

Jacob nodded. "You're right, I know. I have to tell him soon because I met someone I really like. He is opposite of everything I am, but I really care about him."

"Good for you," Edward said as he leaned back in the seat. He closed his eyes as he spoke up. "Make sure you let this guy know how you feel. If you love him, tell him. You never know when it might be the last time you tell him."

Jacob understood what Edward was saying. Silence filled the car until Jacob spoke up when he was more than half way to Edward's house. "Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I know you love Bella and you are upset that she doesn't remember you but you have to man up."

Edward perked up. "Excuse me? What the hell give you the right to make any assumptions about me or my family?"

"Just listen before you have a conniption. If I were you I'd be doing everything in my power to try my hardest to make my partner try to remember."

"My father is the best doctor and-"

"I'm not taking medically. I'm talking about doing something."

Edward laughed humorlessly. "All right Mr. Know It All, what do you propose I do?"

Jacob shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Make her remember why she fell in love with you in the first place. It's time to man-up."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Any suggestions on how I should do that?"

"Play music for her from when you guys dated or your wedding song. Take her out to places you guys went out to when you dated." Jacob paused as he pulled into Edward's driveway. Edward wasn't quick to get out of the car. He was thinking when Jacob spoke up again. "Edward, I'm not trying to be rude or disrespectful to you. You have done everything you can think of to try and make Bella remember. It's time now to up it. Make her remember why she loves you."

Slowly Edward unbuckled his seat belt. He leaned forward and raked his hand through his hair. He nodded. "Thanks Jacob for the ride. I'm sorry I've misjudged you all these years."

"No worries, you didn't know. I hope I gave you some things to think about."

"You sure did. I'm going to get going. Have a good night," Edward said as he extended his hand to Jacob.

Smiling, Jacob took Edward's hand and shook it. "Thanks, you too. Take it easy."

Edward walked into the house and was happy that everyone was sleeping. He stumbled up to his room where he got dressed. He laid in bed but sleep had a hard time finding him. After tossing and turning for almost an hour Edward shot up. He didn't want to wake up Seth so he quietly went into the bathroom with a pen and paper. He started a list: Operation Regain Bella's Memory. He quickly began to list all the different ideas going through his mind. When he was done he studied the list. He was satisfied with what he had written.

Lastly Edward made a note to thank Jacob for his encouragement.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note:

Hi everyone. Hope everyone is well.

Sorry this is up late. I've been really stressed out as of late. Also, I have written this chapter twice and then my battery died. Yep, twice.

This chapter is a little long. I tried to divide it into two however, it didn't make sense. I hope you like it. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Lisa

* * *

Chapter Ten

 _Bella was eager to open her gift. She saw a medium box and a smaller box. Both were wrapped neatly in silver paper with a pink ribbon. Next to it was her gift to Edward, also in two boxes. She framed a picture of them cuddling when they were in high school. It was from their prom. It was one of her favorite pictures of the two of them. In the smaller box next to it was a watch that Edward showed interest in when they had gone to the mall._

 _"Hey," Edward said as he walked through the door. He had just taken Alice's dog Penny for a walk and walked through the door with a bouquet of flowers. "Sorry. We had fun at the dog park and lost track of time. We need to get a dog someday." Edward told Bella as he gave his wife a kiss. "I know I all ready said it but happy anniversary Mrs. Cullen. One whole year."_

 _Nodding in agreement, Bella smiled. "One whole year into our life time together."_

 _"Just legally," Edward said as he bent down to give Penny her water. "You have pretty much had me wrapped around your finger since you moved here."_

 _Laughing, Bella smiled. "I have always had my way with you. Also, happy anniversary Mr. Cullen. I love you."_

 _"And I love you. Did you peak?" Bella shook her head no. "Then open your gifts," he smiled as he sat down._

 _Bella opened the medium size box first. It was a tin. Confused, she opened it and laughed. "Did you con Esme into making these?" She asked as she bit into a sugar cookie._

 _"I sure did. They are your favorites. We have our cake from our wedding that has been defrosting but these are special," Edward grinned as he recalled giving them to a young Bella when she moved next door._

 _Bella offered Edward a cookie as he opened his larger box, the framed picture. He gushed over it as he recalled their senior prom. They had danced and held each other tight. That night they made love for the first time. Bella brought up how incredibly awkward and uncomfortable it was._

 _"But look at us now baby. Practice made perfect," Edward chuckled._

 _They both opened their second gifts together and cracked up. Not only did they buy each other a watch, but it was the same brand, Movado. "Why don't you get the wine and I'll bring in the cake and we can get cozy in the living room," Bella suggested._

 _"I think that is a great idea. I'll get the sparkling red, I know that is your favorite. See you in a few," Edward smiled._

 _Once Bella was in the room, she set the pieces of cake in front of them._

" _Um, why did we keep this again and why are we eating it a year later?" Edward asked as he bit into a cookie instead of the cake._

 _"It's supposed to be a good luck omen, or something," Bella explained as she picked up her piece. She bit into it. "It's a little dry but it tastes fine. That's why we have the wine, right, cheers Edward."_

 _Edward picked up the glass and clinked it with Bella's. "Cheers Bells." Edward then took a piece of his cake and agreed with Bella that it wasn't so bad. He looked at her and laughed. "Remember our first apartment we got together our sophomore year of college?"_

 _Bella laughed. "That place was horrible. It was the size of our living room! We were stepping on each other all of the time."_

 _"You were going to kill me!" Edward stated._

 _Bella smiled as she rebutled. "That was because we had no alone time. We just had the same space unless we went into the bathroom that had no bath tub. That was horrible, but if those walls could talk. Do you remember I thought I was pregnant there?"_

 _"I do. It was around finales time and all you kept saying was your dad was going to kill me and you cried. And cried. After three negative tests, you decided you really weren't pregnant and we celebrated-"_

 _"By having sex!" Bella concluded._

 _"It's one of the things we do well together," Edward smiled as he stood up. He paused as he looked at Bella and smiled. "Bella, you have made me the happiest man in the world. I have been in love with you since I was a child. I can't wait to make our own child when we are ready. I love you with everything I am."_

 _Bella set her glass back onto the table and she snuggled into Edward. "I feel the same way Edward. You were my first friend when we moved here when we were kids. I can't imagine loving anyone else but you. I love you."_

 _Edward bent his head forward and kissed Bella's lips and smiled. He stood up and reached for Bella. "Dance with me?"_

 _Laughing, Bella shook her head. "There is no music."_

 _Within seconds, the first few bars of a song played and Bella knew the song. She beamed._

 _All through the day_

 _I'm seein' your face on replay_

 _Like a movie in my minds_

 _'Till I barely even see my real life_

 _"Do you remember this gem?" Edward asked as he held Bella close to him._

 _Now you're making me laugh_

 _When you say you wonder_

 _How I feel about you_

 _You have no idea_

 _ _"Are you kidding me? It's our wedding song. We were arguing over which version to use. Do we use the Harry Connick Jr version or the Josh Groban version? It was a big decision." Bella laughed.__

 _How many times I think about you_

 _How many nights I've been waitin' to love you_

 _How much I've come to need you_

 _Come to need you_

 _"We did the only thing we could, we compromised and played both," Edward smiled as he sang along._

 _You have no idea_

 _How many ways I dream about you_

 _How many days I've been waitin' to touch you_

 _Now that I've come to know you_

 _Come to know you_

 _You have no idea_

 _Bella giggled. "It was a fair compromise. I mean our first song was the Josh Groban version and our last dance was the Harry Connick Jr version. We both got what we wanted."_

 _"And by the end of the evening people were so drunk they had no idea it was the same song!" Edward added. He then began singing the song to Bella as he held her close. She rested her head on his shoulder._

 _Now you want to know how I'm sure_

 _That you're just who I'm looking for_

 _Well we should go out together more_

 _'Cause you still make me laugh out loud_

 _When you say you wonder how I feel about you_

 _Bella kissed Edward when the song was over. "I love you so much Edward. I will always remember how good you are to me. You are the best!"_

* * *

Edward woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. He realized he spent too much time and booze drowning in his sorrows. He rolled over to his back as the memory of sitting with Kate entered his mind. He vaguely remembered her hands on him and her flirty laugh. He couldn't recall if he was remembering wrong but he could have sworn she tried to kiss him. It was all a drunken haze. He felt sick to his stomach. Drunk or not, he cringed. He hated that he jeopardized his relationship with his wife. He never ever thought about being with another woman and the previous night he had welcomed Kate's advances. He turned over once again and screamed into his pillow. He realized he was a stupid man and he hated himself for it. He promised himself a few things. The first was he wouldn't drown his sorrows, especially not in a bar. The second thing was no matter how crappy he felt, Bella was still uncomfortable in her own skin. If he wanted to get her back he had to change the way he was thinking. Yes he felt crappy and wanted his wife more than anything and it made him feel bad but Bella came first. She had to. He made a mental note to himself no more bars.

As he sat up another memory played into his head. Jacob Black. Thank god for Jacob. He never thought he would utter those words in his entire life. He had no idea why Jacob chose that time to enter the bar, but he would forever be thankful for him. Edward turned again when he heard Seth laughing and cooing. He sat up to look at his son in his pack and play. No matter how bad his headache was, he couldn't help but smile at him.

"Hey buddy. Have you been awake long? I'm sorry if you have been. Let's get you a diaper and then we can have some breakfast, sounds good?" Edward smiled to the infant. Seth cooed has his father picked him up and changed his diaper. When he was finished, Edward took his son and laid back into bed. He wasn't ready to welcome the world just yet. He smiled as he watched his son on his stomach. These quiet times should have been the moments they shared with Bella. He sighed as he held his son closer.

Edward was ready to begin his day when he noticed the piece of paper on the night stand next to him. He grabbed it and stared at it. He remembered writing it the previous night. He looked at Seth and smiled. "We're going to be busy today."

After changing Seth's diaper and dressing him for the day, Edward took the baby and made their way downstairs. He sat Seth in his high chair and gave him a few Cheerios as he made his breakfast. While Seth ate his breakfast, Edward began to pull out the sugar and flour as well as other items.

Esme watched her son before entering the room. "Um, are you going to make something toady?"

Turning around, Edward told his mother his plans. Esme smiled. "That is really sweet Edward. I hope it helps." She paused as she took the spoon and oatmeal from her son. She sat in the chair closest to the high chair and greeted her grandson as she began to feed him. She was feeding Seth when she began to speak again. "So Edward, I noticed your car isn't here this morning. Your father told me not to walk you to ask about it. I went for my walk and when I came back Jacob Black called the house. He told me to relay a message for you. He said one of the guys from the station would be driving it back. What happened last night?"

Taking a deep breath, Edward leaned against the counter and told his mother about his evening. He told her everything, including the fact that Jacob was gay. He didn't leave any stone unturned. "It was a bad night and I could have made many bad choices. I'm thankful Jacob was there, and he helped me, even though I had been a jerk to him for years. Decades really."

Nodding her head Esme looked at her son. "I know you have been through a lot and sweetheart, if I could make everything better I would in a heartbeat. I love you and I love Bella as if she were my own. I understand you are hurting Edward, but you need to grow up. You need to be there for that woman. Who knows how long it will be before she can remember things. You need to do something and sulking in self-pity isn't one of your choices."

Edward absorbed everything Esme was saying. He crossed his arms and looked at her. "Mom I screwed up last night. After everything that happened, I agree with you. No more bars. No more self-pity. I know realistically I will get frustrated but no more self-pity. My wife needs me. This is what I was thinking about doing. What do you think?"

After listening to Edward's plan, Esme stood up and hugged her son. "I think that is lovely and I am so proud of you Edward."

* * *

"Edward, hi," Emily said as she answered the door. "Bella is getting dressed. I didn't know you were heading over. Where is Seth?"

"My mom has him again. He's napping now but she wants to take him out to lunch and show him off to her friends. She loves being a grandmother," Edward smiled. "I um, I am trying a different approach with this whole Bella thing. I kind of had an awakening last night."

"Jake talk to you?" Emily asked all ready knowing about the previous night.

Edward turned red. He wondered how much of his actions were conveyed through Jacob. "Yes," he swallowed looking ashamed.

Emily nodded. "He told me everything. About you drinking and Kate."

"Emily I-"

"Look Edward, I get it. You were drunk last night. You're stressed out. I get it. Jake said you were cozy with Kate."

"Em-"

Emily laughed as she let Edward inside the house. "Not that I'm thrilled with the prospect that you could have potentially cheated on my sister because you were practically drunk off your ass. I know in my heart you wouldn't have gone through with it. I know you love her. You're just lucky that Jacob isn't going to tell our father. He'd kill you."

Offering a nervous chuckle, Edward looked at his sister-in-law, "You're right. Thank you for understanding. I can promise you that even drunk I wanted nothing to do with her. And speaking of being drunk, I'm not drinking again until Bella can enjoy something with me."

"I believe you Cullen but don't piss me off or hurt my sister. She's been through enough and doesn't deserve anymore."

"I hear you and promise not to do that again. It looked bad and I realize that. I don't know why I began to confide in Kate of all people."

"You're stressed out Edward, it happens. I understand you probably wanted to be alone, but next time don't be alone with booze, okay?" Emily pleaded with the man in front of her. She wrapped her arm around him and pulled him in for a hug. Edward had always been in her life and she looked to him as if he were her family. "I do love you Cullen like you were my brother but I swear to god if you ever hurt my sister your balls will be on a serving plate. Don't make me hate you."

"I promise I won't," Edward paused as he chuckled. "Bella said something similar when she was delivering Seth."

"Us Swan women think alike. I've always looked up to my big sister." Emily smiled as she looked up at Edward. So, this approach you were talking about-"

"Edward, hi. I thought I heard your voice," Bella said as she walked down the stairs. She offered him a bashful smile.

Edward smiled back. "Good morning Bella. How are you?"

"I'm good. What are you doing here?"

Edward took a deep breath. "I wanted to try something with you."

Bella looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, well, I-I-"

Emily turned to her sister and laughed. "Isn't he funny when he gets nervous? Adorable. That's one of the reasons you fell in love with him."

Bella laughed again. "What's going on Edward?"

Taking a deep breath, Edward continued. "I had a talk last night with Jacob."

"Jacob? I thought you didn't like Jacob?" Bella inquired.

"Well, I might have misjudged him on a few things. Anyway, he planted an idea in my head. I'm going through and I want to try a few things to make you remember me, remember us."

Bella nodded. "Okay, what do you have up your sleeve?"

Smirking, Edward pulled the tin container out of his hand. "I don't know if you remember," he paused and shook his head. "I'm sorry, those were poor choice of words. Let me start again. When you moved next door when we were kids, my mom baked your family sugar cookies. Those became your favorite. Every event that we have mom still makes them for you. Mom has been too busy to make them. When I got up this morning, I used her recipe and made them. Seth was laughing from his high chair. Probably because I was in the kitchen and that usually doesn't end well. Then I think he sighed relief that I didn't set the kitchen on fire. My mom said the cookie taste pretty good for my first time. I had a few and I didn't die. I'm sorry if they taste like shit, I'm just trying and-"

Reaching out for the tin, Bella couldn't help but smile. "You made me cookies?" Edward nodded. "Oh my god! Edward, that's so sweet. Thank you. Sugar cookies are my favorites, I think. This is really sweet. Would you like one?" She asked both Edward and Emily. Both took a cookie and looked at Bella as she lifted one from the tin. She studied it and then bit into it. She smiled as she looked at the two next to her. "These are good. You did do a good job. Thank you."

Edward blushed while he finished eating the cookie. He looked at Bella and was careful not to touch her and try to startle her. "It was nothing, really. It was actually fun, a lot of work but fun. I felt what you go through every holiday season."

"I'm impressed Edward," Emily smiled. "You baked and we are all still alive!"

"Very funny Em. I think this is sweet Edward, very sweet. You obviously were out of your comfort zone and made these. This means a lot to me," Bella said as she kissed his check. "Thank you."

Feeling a little emotional, Edward looked at his wife. "This was nothing, but you are welcome." He coughed and then continued. "I would like to do something special for you. Would you go out with me tonight? Please? I have kind of planned something."

Bella exchanged looks with Emily and smiled. "Okay, I guess that will be okay. What did you have in mind?"

"I can't tell. I've sworn myself to secrecy. You'll find out soon enough though. I'll be by about six-thirty. Um, dress casually and we'll grab dinner after the big surprise."

Bella swallowed and nodded her head. "Okay, I guess I'll see you at six-thirty. Bye Edward."

"Bye Bella. I'll see you soon."

"I found it!" Edward said as he rummaged through boxes in the basement.

"Edward, what are you doing down here?" Esme called down to her son.

Quickly cleaning up the contents of the box, Edward turned around and looked at his mother. "I found it. I am so thankful you never throw anything away."

Esme chuckled. "Is that for tonight?"

Nodding, Edward smiled. "It is. I'm surprised it still fits. It's been so long since I've even thought about it, never mind worn it."

Esme's grin soon faded. "Edward, I know you are going through so much and it is very romantic of you."

"I want my wife back mom. I'm willing to try anything. I have to make her remember me."

"I know honey. I was just wondering if you are prepared if this doesn't work."

Edward's face was crestfallen. "What do you mean? You were my biggest cheerleader with trying to make her remember me, why are you changing your mind now?"

"Honey, I'm not changing my mind. I'm just worried about you. I in my heart believe she will return to you, but I want you to think about if things don't go that way."

Edward shook his head. "I can't talk to you right now. Seriously? I'm nervous enough about tonight and you decide this is the time to talk about this? I can't do it. I can't talk about it!" Edward shouted at his mother as he began to storm away.

"Edward Anthony Cullen," Esme called. "Get your butt back here now. Listen to me and listen to me carefully. I have said it before and I will say it again, I do believe Bella will eventually regain her memory and she will remember you. I want to make sure you are preparing yourself in case she doesn't or in case it is a long time coming. I hate seeing you so upset and so hurt all the time. I'm glad to see you are taking control and are doing something. I'm proud of you for this. I love you and don't want to see you more hurt than you all ready are. Understand? You just have to prepare yourself just in case sweetheart."

Backing up, Edward hugged his mother. "Sorry I got so mad. Of course I know what you are saying. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells for myself."

"Quit apologizing and get ready for tonight. We'll talk about that again. Seth and I are going to head over to the hospital to surprise your father with dinner after you leave. He's working the late shift again."

"I don't think I say it enough but thank you for everything you have done with him. I really don't know what I would have done if you weren't here for me, for us."

Esme let go of her son and nodded her head. "Nonsense honey. You're my son and Bella is like a daughter to me. Seth is my grand baby. There is nothing I wouldn't do for any of you. Now go and get ready or else you are going to be late."

Edward hurried up the stairs to shower and change. He dressed in a dark pair of jean and a dark blue button down shirt. He picked up the treasured item he had search for and smiled as he put it on. "Show time," he said into the mirror.

He ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Mom, I'm ready. I'm going to leave now."

"Have a good time and don't stay out too late. No repeats of last night".

* * *

"I won't, I promise. Bye," Edward said as he kissed her check. He ran across the yard to Bella's house and rang the doorbell. He waited until Charlie answered the door. "Good evening Charlie. Is Bella ready?"

"Edward, come on in. Emily is helping Bella get ready. She has been almost done for fifteen minutes, so Emily says."

"I heard that!" Emily chuckled. "Hi Edward, she should be down in a minute. What do you have planned for tonight?"

Shaking his head, Edward offered a smile. "I can't tell you. I'll tell you after though. I promise to be home by ten and not to overwhelm her."

"Why would I be overwhelmed?" Bella asked as she walked down the stairs.

"Because it's your first time out with someone you really don't remember," Charlie replied. "Edward though he loves you and will take care of you. I'll see you around ten. Have fun honey. Edward, good luck son."

"Thanks Charlie. Bye Emily. Ready to go?" He asked Bella.

"Let's go. Bye Em."

"Bye kids and have fun," Emily waved.

They walked in silence over to Edward's car. He helped her get into the car before walking to his side of the car. He took a deep breath and opened the door.

"So can I know where we are going or is it still top secret?" Bella asked.

"It's a short drive. You'll find out in a few minutes"

They made small talk for the ten minute drive. Edward was telling Bella a story about Seth as he pulled into the parking lot. He stopped the car. Bella looked confused.

"School? We are at a school? Why?"

"Well, let's go in and find out," Edward smiled as they both exited the car. Bella walked next to him as they entered the high school through the gym entrance. Bella looked at Edward with confusion.

"Is that music playing?"

"It is. I'll explain when we go into the gym."

As they entered Bella saw balloons and streamers. The whole space was decorated as if there was a school dance. Punch and soda sat on the refreshment table. Edward watched as a smile appeared on Bella's face.

"I know there has to be a story here so spill!" She laughed.

Just seeing her happy, Edward's heart skipped a beat. "Well, we have been together basically forever. I remember all of our firsts. This is supposed to be our first high school dance. I have my Ipod instead of a DJ but still. The playlist is from all of the songs from that time and from what I can remember the dance."

"Really? You did this all for me? How did you pull it off?" Bella asked as she had tears coming from her eyes.

Edward reached for Bella's hand. He was relieved when she didn't pull it away. "We graduated with Angela Webber. She was a good friend of yours. She is now principal of the school and I might have given her a call to ask her for a favor and this is the result."

"Edward, this is so nice! Let's dance!" Bella said pulling his hand. They danced to many songs from their teens. When a slow song came on, Edward was cautious to dance closely with Bella.

"This is a slow song, do you, I mean would you like to dance? With me?" Edward shyly proposed.

"Of course I would," Bella said as she walked closer to Edward. She wrapped her arms around his neck and swayed with him as Bruce Springsteen's "Secret Garden" filled the gymnasium. "This whole evening has been really sweet Edward. I'm sorry I don't remember anything. I wish-"

Edward interrupted Bella's tears. He held her close as she cried into his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head. He too was fighting back the tears he wanted to unleash. He swallowed before he spoke softly. "Bella, Bella look at me, please?" Edward begged as he let go. He reflected on a conversation he and his mother had previously that day. As Bella's face still stayed focused on the ground, Edward brought a finger to her chin and lifted her face. "Bella, we're going to get through this, we really will." He hugged her again in his arms before he spoke. "Worse case scenario is you will never remember me, and you know, I'm okay with that, I really am."

Bella pushed herself off of Edward. She walked a few feet before he turned around piping mad and started to scream at Edward. "What? How can you say that? You'd be okay with me not remembering you? Our son? Are you sick in the head? What's wrong with you?"

"Bella, calm down. All I met was I would just have to make you see why you fell in love with me in the first place. Sometimes I question why you chose me. Let me show you how much I love you and want you in my life. If after some dating and getting to know each other again you want to be set free, I would have to learn to deal with that, but Bella, I'm not giving up. Never. I only want to make you happy. You are the only woman I will ever love," Edward stated very matter a factly. "I love you so much."

Shuffling her feet, Bella proceeded slowly back to Edward. "Do you mean that?"

"That I'd let you go? I would if it made you happy," Edward sadly explained.

Shaking her head, Bella corrected him. "No, not that. You really do love me? You love me even now?"

Edward couldn't help smile as he walked closer to his wife. He pushed her hair behind her ear and smiled at her. "I have never loved another woman and don't know if I could love anyone the way I love you. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you Isabella, nothing. We have seen each other at our very worse and our very best times. As matter a fact, this is the place where we proclaimed we'd marry each other one day."

Bella laughed as tears escaped her eyes. "Really?"

"Yes it was. It was during this song too. I might have done something like this," Edward said as he slipped his jacket off of his body and placed it around Bella's shoulders. "This was my Letterman jacket. Anyway, I put this on you and promised that I would always love you and always be there for you. I have never broken those words to you Bella, never."

Giggling, Bella looked at Edward. "You just had this laying around your house?"

"My mom never throws anything out. When they rent the house out, the basement is off limits since it is our storage area and my mom has lots of things like the jacket that should have been thrown out years ago. I have to say I'm glad she never did it."

"So after you gave me your jacket and promised to love me, what happened next?"

"We walked over to our brothers who were there with their respectable girlfriends and told them we were heading out to celebrate."

"To celebrate?" Bella questions. "Did we-"

"No, nothing like that. We went out for dinner at the Italian restaurant, which is our next stop this evening."

"Do you remember what we ate? How good is your memory?"

Edward couldn't help but grin as Bella asked what seemed like simple questions to him. "I had the chicken parm with angel hair pasta. You had the mushroom raviolis with an alfredo sauce. We shared a piece of tiramisu afterwards."

"There is desert involved? You never mentioned that. Let' go now!" Bella smiled as she tugged on Edward's arm before folding her hand in his.

* * *

After dinner was done, the pair began to travel back home. Bella couldn't help but look at Edward as he drove. He pulled into his driveway and shut off the engine. He got out and walked around to Bella's side of the car. He helped her out as they slowly made their way back to her house.

"I'm smitten with you right now. I had a lot of fun with you tonight. I don't remember anything more, but I did have a fun time getting to know you some more and hearing stories of our past."

Edward looked at Bella and returned her radiant smile that she had plastered across her face. It did cause him pain that she still couldn't recall events of their past or even him, but it warmed his heart that she had such a good time and seemed more open of him. "No worries Bella about the whole remembering thing. I had so much fun with you tonight. I liked recalling the stories of our youth."

"Our youth? You make it sound like we are ancient!"

"Well, you know, we are older and wiser now. Seriously though, you're really smitten with me?" Edward asked as they stopped on her front porch.

Shaking her head, Bella smiled. "Yes I am. I can see why I loved you."

"Good. I've always been so smitten with you. It seems like we are sort of even now."

"Stop it," Bella giggled. "Did those cheesy lines ever work before?"

"No, but to be fair you are the one to use smitten first."

"Okay, it's my fault," Bella laughed. "How did that evening end so long ago?"

Edward leaned in close to Bella. He looked into her eyes but didn't speak. He tenderly kissed Bella. He then looked at her and smiled. "It ended with that, with a little kiss."

Speechless, Bella took a deep breath. "That was nice."

"So, now that our night has officially ended, I was wondering if I could take you out again?"

"Eager all ready Edward?" Bella chuckled. She looked at their intertwined hands and nodded. "I would like that."

"I was hoping you would say that. I'll see you tomorrow and give you more details of our next date."

"Next date? Did you plan it all ready?"

Edward tried not to smile so much. "Maybe. I feel like I have so much to do for you that lets just say I am prepared."

"Well, I can't wait to see what you have planned." Bella leaned into Edward and kissed his check as he touched his face. "Thank you again for everything. Good night Edward," she said as she stepped into her house.

As he watched the door close, he felt the first thing he had since the whole accident had happened, hope.


End file.
